Give and Take
by Hane no Zaia
Summary: HIATUS. It starts off a bit angsty at Christmas, starts cracking, continues through Easter and ends with madness. Games, Tyki infiltrating HQ dressed up as Santa, deaged zombies, Allen playing around with voodoo... and Yullen.
1. Happy Hypocrites

_**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray – Man. No, really.**_

_**Anyhow, this thing is a random creation of a sugar-high authoress. It should have been properly revised ages ago, but all attempts to hunt down and capture the authoress and her inspiration have come to naught… until now, that is.**_

_**But… since revising all of this all by myself proved to be too much of a hassle and I doubt my beta would be very interested in poking her head into this mess… this is the sort-of revised version, with fewer but longer chapters, better English, lots of crack, some OOC, zombies, wasabi, chocolate, voodoo, magical books, Santas, egg hunts and other extremely odd occurrences.**_

_**If you are a new reader, welcome. And stay around; the OOC angst is only temporary. Crack arrives later, with company.**_

_**If you are an old reader, welcome back. I do hope that this version is better than the previous one.**_

_**Anyways, enjoy, and an extremely belated happy hypocrites to you all, Yullen fans or not.**_

- o0o -

**Happy Hypocrites**

- o0o -

The day was Christmas Eve when Kanda Yu headed for his room after having returned from his mission, reluctant to participate in any of the activities that were taking place in the rest of Headquarters.

Walking past the entrance to the cafeteria, he scoffed at the sight of the lively Christmas preparations taking place in there and stalked off in direction of his room.

Oh how he utterly despised the festive season…

All those happy hypocrites all over the place…

He snorted and picked up his pace, unwilling to spend any more time than absolutely necessary with these people.

After all, there was always a chance that a certain BakaUsagi would make him join in on the celebration, under the threat of blackmail, obviously.

"YU! You're back!"

_Speaking of the devil. _

His eyebrow twitched noticeably, all while his fingers itched towards his sword, apparently with the intent of unsheathing it and cutting that annoying redhead's throat once and for all… but NO, such an act would definitely ruin everyone else's mood and Christmas spirit or whatever. Not that it would be capable of ruining Kanda's or anything, since he was already in quite a foul mood because of all the noise and the happy people who were jumping around.

"Call me by my first name again and I'll impale you and use you as a Christmas decoration," he eventually growled, as Lavi had made his way into his vision, not to mention his reach.

"Aw, come on Yu…" Lavi said, wearing a cheerful smile and mischief glittering in his single visible emerald eye. "Don't ruin the mood for the rest of us…"

What little remained of Kanda Yu's patience was swiftly running thin, like a rubber band stretched so much it was just about to snap and cause someone a lot of pain…

"What. Do. You. Want?" Kanda hissed through gritted teeth.

Lavi's amused expression faded a little, but the samurai took very little note of that.

"Have you seen Allen?" the Bookman's apprentice inquired.

The other's eyes narrowed slightly as he started walking again, but as no answer was given to his question Lavi promptly took up following the increasingly annoyed samurai, who eventually stopped dead, whipping his head around and hissing "NO, BakaUsagi. I haven't seen Moyashi anywhere. Now get off my back," in his direction before stalking off again, at an even faster pace than before.

Lavi scratched his head with a thoughtful expression.

"Strange…" he said. "I've looked all over the place and I still haven't found him…"

Kanda continued on his way, ignoring him fully as he turned the corner.

"_Why is he looking for Moyashi anyway?" _Kanda inwardly muttered. _"Not that I care or anything."_

As if to answer Kanda's thoughts Lavi's face once again popped up in his line of vision.

"The party downstairs is partly to celebrate Allen's birthday you know?" he said, leaning closer. "Do you know where he could be?"

"I have no freaking idea, so go away," Kanda responded, begrudgingly adding a "Please?" to the end of his response.

Lavi looked at him strangely, perplexed almost, and then slowly backed away. He almost seemed a bit unnerved at the samurai's seeming lack of insults and to be completely honest he almost seemed a bit fearful at the prospect of said samurai almost being nice all of a sudden.

And then he was gone, taking off running down the corridor at a surprising amount of speed as though the Devil himself was at his heels, leaving an almost baffled Kanda behind to stare after him.

The stare gradually morphed into an outright glare, but then again there was nothing but an empty corridor to glare at so he brought his hand up instead, scratching the back of his head.

"What the Hell?"

His eyebrow twitched again.

_Was everyone this crazy during the last Christmas season?_

He thought about it for a moment, before swiftly concluding that yes, they had probably been about as crazy last year as well as far as he could recall, not that he would actually bother remembering such useless things in the first place and…

Kanda stopped, his hand resting on the handle to the door leading to his room, frowning.

_Wait a minute…_

He cracked the door open, staring into the darkness while waiting for his eyes to adjust themselves to see what he had already sensed; the unwelcome intruder sitting on his bed looked up as he slid the door closed behind him and entered.

"Moyashi," Kanda hissed in clear dismay of seeing said white-haired idiot intruding where he surely did not belong. "What are you doing in my room?"

Silver-grey eyes that were surprisingly weary looked up at him in silence for a few moments.

"I'm hiding from Lavi; why else would I venture in here, BaKanda?" he then responded with a mild shrug of the shoulders.

Kanda remained at the door, eyes narrowing as he continued glaring at him.

"That still doesn't explain why you're in my room and not somewhere else," he then hissed, earning no visible reaction from the other exorcist.

Allen was silent for a while.

"Because…" he started somewhat hesitantly, but still with an air of indifference all around him. "I mean, it's your room and hence it's likely to be the last place I'm expected to be in right now so he'll never look for me in here, so…"

Kanda snorted in response. _I should have expected as much._

"Perhaps you should've asked for permission first before using someone else's room at your own convenience, Moyashi…" he then said, pausing briefly before continuing. "Why aren't you with those happy hypocrites downstairs and how the Hell did you get into my room? I was sure I locked the door before I left…"

A wry smirk ruined Allen's previously indifferent face.

"You've once again underestimated my lock picking skills…" he then sighed, laying down on his back. "Compared to Master's locks this one was a piece of cake."

Kanda's eyebrow twitched again.

"That still didn't answer my question…" he hissed. "Why aren't you downstairs?"

"Why aren't you?" Allen immediately countered as his eyes studied the ceiling with sudden interest.

"I don't like happy hypocrites, celebrations or Christmas," Kanda responded. "Now answer my question."

Allen's eyes rested on the samurai for a moment before they returned to staring at the ceiling.

"I felt like I wanted to find someplace quiet."

"So do I." Kanda snarled, opening the door a bit and gesturing towards it. "So get out."

Allen made no motion of complying. Instead he asked: "Say, Kanda… Am I a hypocrite?"

Kanda replied without hesitation. "Yes, Moyashi. You are."

Sighing, Allen sat up on the bed but made no motion of having any intention of vacating it.

"I'm sorry to bother you BaKanda, but I'll still be sleeping here tonight," he boldly announced.

Kanda briefly wondered if he would be able to strangle him then and there and maybe get away with it.

"Who said you could do that?" he snarled at him, his fingers once again itching towards Mugen's handle.

"I did," Allen responded. "Got a problem?"

"I have. It's my bed," Kanda hissed. "If you're going to sleep here then sleep on the floor." he added after a brief pause.

Allen looked fairly amused.

"What's so funny?" Kanda hissed in response.

A smile appeared on Allen's pale face. "You are."

Kanda frowned, making a face that made Allen, who was struggling to keep serious, burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience," Allen said with a surprisingly honest smile on his lips. "But I think that Lavi had stopped looking by now so I'll just go back to my room…"

With that he got up from the bed, walked past Kanda and left the room, leaving Kanda alone in almost complete darkness.

Kanda's eyebrow twitched.

- o0o -

Allen was walking through the corridors of Headquarters, but not in the direction of his own room. No, he wasn't lost due to popular belief. He knew exactly where he was going.

To the roof, since Lavi had probably already looked for him there by then and because he felt like he needed some air. Some cold air matching the way he was currently felt inside, cold and empty.

Somehow, Christmas this year held absolutely no joy at all for Allen. He kept thinking about Mana and how he missed him and how it somehow felt awfully wrong for him to laugh, smile and enjoy himself on the anniversary of Mana…

Allen shook his head tiredly as he came out onto the roof. He didn't feel like remembering. It was all getting too painful. He didn't want to be with the others down in the hall, because his smiles would be so obviously fake. He didn't want their concern for him, since that just made him feel even worse than before.

Kanda had been an exception of course, since Kanda wouldn't really show him any concern. That was one of the things Allen liked about him but also hated about him at the same time.

That coldness against the world, some kind of indifference…

Kanda said that only his duty as an exorcist mattered to him. Allen wished that he could say the same. His urge to save the world and everything in it was a pain in the ass sometimes, not to mention the fact that people tended to look strangely at him since he cared more about saving akuma's souls rather than just destroying them relentlessly.

Allen breathed out heavily, a white cloud forming before him as his breath froze in the chilly air. He let his eyes wander over the partly snow-covered roof, taking in a breath of relief as he made sure he was really alone up there.

_Good…_

His face cracked up in a sad smile.

_I wouldn't want to ruin everyone else's mood…_

He lay down onto the snow and gazed up at the starry sky, eyes focusing onto the big full moon in the sky.

_You're feeling lonely as well aren't you?_

Allen sighed, breathing in the cold night air. It felt nice. The fact that he was laying on cold snow didn't bother him much either. Somehow being outdoors in the cold made him feel really content with everything. He didn't have to smile if he didn't want to; he didn't need to reassure everybody that things were going to be alright, he didn't need to be cheerful; he could just be himself up here if he wanted to. No offence to Lavi, Lenalee and the others… He just simply didn't feel like keeping them company tonight.

He let his eyes close briefly as he simply listened to the voices of the night winds as well as the sound of his own heartbeats, hearing them slow down as he was finally able to properly calm down and relax.

His breathing evened out and he was fast asleep on the roof, seemingly oblivious to the cold.

After a while the sound of snow crunching under heavy footsteps was heard. The footsteps stopped and a shadowy figure looked down at the white-haired boy lying on the snow and almost completely melted into the scenery.

A deep sigh was heard.

Dark blue eyes narrowed.

A dry comment went unheard.

"I said you could sleep on the floor, not on the roof out in the freaking cold, Baka."

- o0o -

"Did you find him?" Lenalee asked with her eyes wide in concern as Lavi returned to the cafeteria.

Lavi merely shook his head. "I guess he doesn't want to be found…"

Lenalee looked slightly disappointed, no perhaps even slightly hurt. But then she smiled.

"I guess we'll do it some other time then…" she said. "But I'll ask him at breakfast in the morning…"

Lavi looked more than just simply disappointed; he rather looked like he had missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

"But Lenalee…" he said. "What should we do with the mistletoe?

"Hide it, obviously." she said, eyes narrowing slightly. "If Brother got a hold of it things could get seriously out of hand…"

Lavi nodded, but his single emerald eye kept on glimmering with a certain kind of mischief. Lenalee noticed it and took the opportunity to snatch the mistletoe from Lavi's hands.

"I'll take care of it…" she said and walked off. "If you see Allen then drag him over here."

"Yes, Miss…"

Lavi looked seriously disappointed now. His eye narrowed.

_Damn, I could've had so much fun with that…_

- o0o -

_It's warm…_

Allen's mind was still a bit fuzzy, but he noticed that he was really warm.

Wait. Warm?

His last memories were that he had fallen asleep outdoors, in the cold, so how the Hell could he be feeling warm, no scratch that, how could he be feeling hot?

He cracked one eye open, only to be met with cascades of raven hair along with a terrifyingly familiar face. Allen was very true to his instincts as he tried to get as far away from it as possible, finding himself panicking as he was unable to do so, since strong arms had at some point wrapped around him, trapping him in place.

An involuntary blush spread over his face, all while he lay still and desperately tried to figure out a mean to get out of this kind of predicament, although he could certainly not help but ponder how he ended up in that kind of compromising position in the first place.

Carefully he pushed Kanda's arms away from him, laying them down on the bed carefully as he slipped out of it. He smiled with a sense of triumph. He had made it. He took a deep breath, turned and was about to go to the door as he suddenly felt how strong fingers clasped his wrist. The next moment he was pulled by a tremendous force back onto the bed, his hands pinned over his head by the samurai that was currently straddling his hips.

"BaKanda?" Allen spat out. "What the Hell do you think you're doing?"

- o0o -

Dark blue eyes narrowed in the dim light.

"I'd ask you that myself, Moyashi." Kanda eventually responded, making no move whatsoever of removing himself.

"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?" Allen asked, his earlier shock gradually morphing into something else – outright terror, probably – at the dawning realisation that the samurai had probably snapped and was about to do some terrible things to him. And maybe kill him too.

The smile on Kanda's face faded as swiftly as it had appeared, his eyes narrowed and his grip on Allen's wrists hardened. "I'm referring to the fact that you fell asleep on the roof out in the freaking winter, Moyashi," he hissed, leaning in closer.

"It's Allen, BaKanda, and it's none of your business," Allen hissed back, unsure of whether he should be scared or angry. "Now let go off me. You don't want to touch a cursed person, right?"

He attempted to land a kick on the other, but didn't manage to.

"Is that really a good way to thank the person that might've just saved your ass?" Kanda hissed back at him, still not letting go.

Allen's movements froze instantly and his eyebrow twitched.

"Saved me?" he asked disbelievingly. "You?"

Allen's brain needed a while to process that. Kanda saving him? Now that idea was seriously a pain for his tired brain to process. It gave him a headache just by thinking about it.

"What time is it?" he then asked, trying to get some order in his exhausted brain again.

"About four in the morning," Kanda replied, without missing a beat.

Allen's eyes widened. "What?"

"You could've died last night, you know that?" Kanda suddenly asked, his voice serious as he leaned closer.

Allen blinked in response.

"Should I?" he then asked innocently, instantly seeing Kanda's facial expression darkening.

"You could've frozen to death," the samurai growled at him.

"And I might faint from having the circulation in my arms and legs cut if you don't remove yourself soon…" Allen retorted, and to his great surprise Kanda did actually let go of him then.

With a bit of effort he sat himself up, all while watching the samurai with a wary look on his face before he turned his attention towards his numb wrists as he tried to rub some feeling back into them.

"Man, that's going to hurt later…" he mumbled. "Or at least leave a few bruises…"

Kanda snorted.

"Consider yourself lucky," he said. "If it weren't for me you might've gotten hypothermia and pneumonia."

Allen frowned slightly, and then he realized another fact.

"And why exactly am I wearing your cardigan?"

Kanda turned away in response, ignoring him.

_Because you were really cold, dumbass…_

- o0o -

It was around four in the morning of December the 25th.

Headquarters was silent, if you chose to ignore the heavy snoring of the ones that had participated in the party last night. But the deepest silence and the deepest tension was found in a dimly lit up room where neither one of the occupants were sleeping, as they rather stared at each other under a tense silence that both refused to break before the other.

Then, eventually, one of them spoke.

"Kanda…" Allen's voice was getting dangerously low. "Why the Hell am I wearing your cardigan and why did I wake up next to you in your bed?"

Kanda snorted. "I have training to do," he muttered, heading for the door. "And thanks to you I'm late for it."

"Hey, you just made that up so that you wouldn't have to answer me, didn't you?" Allen said.

"I have no obligation to answer that…" Kanda responded, making his way to the door.

"Hey, wait!" the white-haired teen tried to get up to stop him and demand an explanation, but he tripped onto a coat on the floor (likely Kanda's exorcist coat) and was conveniently caught by Kanda's strong arms.

"You're really clumsy, Moyashi," Kanda said with a straight face. "I can't believe you've survived this long with that kind of clumsiness…"

"And I can't believe I've survived this long in your company, BaKanda," Allen bit back at him as he steadied himself. "Are you sick?"

He suddenly felt Kanda's hand on his forehead and he swatted it away.

"No, but apparently you are, Hothead," Kanda said, a smirk appearing on his face. "And I who thought that fools didn't catch colds."

Allen blushed involuntarily. "I'm not an idiot, so shut the Hell up BaKanda."

"I didn't call you an idiot; I called you a fool, Moyashi."

"Same thing, really…"

- o0o -

Lavi was finally coming to after a rough night of partying. He drew his fingers through his messy hair and winced as another wave of intense headache struck him.

_I really shouldn't have had that last one…_

He yawned as he walked out his room and continued strolling down the corridor.

The party hadn't been fully as entertaining as he wished, seeing that neither Kanda nor Allen had attended it. Man, messing with people was just too fun for his own good. Way too fun.

He passed by a room that he knew well belonged to a certain grumpy samurai and he stopped briefly, obviously thinking up some prank that he could pull on him just to annoy him. But since it was already a quarter to five in the morning Kanda was obviously training, even if it was Christmas and all. Lavi didn't think Kanda celebrated Christmas.

He was about to start walking again but then his ears picked up something. He looked at the closed door, practically dumbfounded.

_Am I hearing voices from Kanda's room?_

It just had to be a figment of his imagination. Lavi knew no one in the Order, besides himself or Lenalee of course, who would ever even dare to enter Kanda's room, much less speak to him any more than absolutely necessary.

He carefully pressed his ear onto the door, listening intensively.

- o0o -

"The Queen of Spades?" Kanda asked.

"Go fish," Allen replied without much interest.

"Tch."

"My turn," Allen said with an innocent smile on his face. "Do you have…the King of Hearts?"

Kanda frowned."… Okay, now I know you're cheating, Moyashi."

Allen's innocent smile remained, but Kanda suspected that there was something sinister behind it.

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Prove it."

Finally Kanda sighed, giving up and accepting his loss.

"Fine…" he said. "Let's play another game."

Allen looked up.

"Poker?" he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.

Kanda's eyes narrowed.

"No, don't take me for an idiot." he said. "I know very well that your poker skills should be feared."

"Why thanks." Allen said, dropping the earlier façade of innocence as he heard that Kanda was in fact, in a way, complimenting him. "I once stripped a Noah to his underwear with them."

Kanda showed no reaction. "I'm not interested." he said. "Why can't we just have a real match?"

Allen showed no reaction.

"I told you that I'm not leaving this room until this Christmas spectacle has ended." he said, shuffling his deck of cards. "And you don't seem particularly keen on the idea of me leaving either, am I right?"

"In your dreams, Moyashi." Kanda said. "In your dreams."

The smirk on Allen's face widened. "In my nightmares, I'd say."

Kanda scowled at him. "And what the Hell is that supposed to mean?"

In response to this Allen chuckled.

"Nothing…" he said. "Just another one of my hypocrite ideas, I suppose… Another game?"

Kanda nodded lightly. "As long as it doesn't involve any cards…"

- o0o -

Lavi didn't catch much of what they were talking about in there so he started concentrating harder to make out what they said, and he was all but pleasantly surprised about what he heard…

"But Kanda… What do we do if they hear us?"

Ok, that was Allen's voice, he was completely sure about that one. So Allen was the one with Kanda in the room… Well, that explained why Lavi hadn't found him earlier.

"No risk. Most of them should still be out since yesterday…"

Lavi smirked.

_Well, you got that one right… Almost._

"Stop that." he heard Allen say. "No-o-oh not there."

_Man, he sounds kinda embarrassed… I wonder what they're doing…_

"Shut up. It isn't like I'm doing this on purpose."

_And that's Kanda alright… even if there's a certain lack of death threats in that sentence…_

"Kanda, you're touching me."

A bead of sweat ran down Lavi's face.

_What the __**Hell**__ were they doing in there?_

One impossible (not to mention indecent) scenario flashed before his eyes after another. They all seemed very unlikely.

_Well, no way to tell unless I…_

Lavi's hand rested on the handle, hesitating slightly.

_Ah, what the Hell…_

He pressed it down and…

"OH. MY. GOD!"

- o0o -

Kanda and Allen were to say the least, tangled up in quite an interesting position…

"Just tell your freaking golem to spin that freaking thing instead of recording this," Kanda hissed.

"Just do it Timcanpy…" a flushed Allen pleaded the golden golem. "This is getting really uncomfortable."

The golem gave them what could be considered a grin as it started spinning the spinner.

"I told you that playing Twister was a bad idea…" Kanda muttered.

Then both were suddenly alerted by the sound of the door being opened. They looked up from their very compromising positions, only to see Lavi standing in the doorway.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"Oh Hell no…" Kanda grumbled.

"Lavi?" Allen squeaked with disbelief.

Lavi stood completely frozen with shock for another second before he started regaining his composure and then he ran off.

"Lenalee!" he shouted out loudly, for the entire world to hear. "You've just got to see this!"

It took a few seconds for Kanda and Allen to fully comprehend what had just happened. They stayed silent for a few moments as they tangled out of their compromising position. Allen was the first one to break the silence.

"Kanda…" he said. "Let's play a new game…"

"What?" Kanda asked.

Allen's silver eyes narrowed maliciously. "The first one to kill Lavi will be declared the winner."

Kanda's dark blue eyes narrowed and he nodded while grabbing onto Mugen. "I'm all in for that one."

- o0o -

It was about five a clock in the morning and at the moment Headquarters was everything but quiet…

"Lavi! Get back here!" Allen screamed furiously, having reverted into his Black side as he raced down the corridors while hunting for a certain red-haired Bookman Apprentice.

Following him was a certain samurai, equally pissed off, with murder in his eyes and on his mind.

"BakaUsagi! When I get a hold of you, you're gonna be so dead!"

Hearing all these very promising death threats Lavi sped up as his pursuers were gaining on him. Five meters, four, three…

He abruptly turned left, only to collide with a certain black-haired Chinese girl with pigtails. He was so happy to see her that he even hugged her.

"Lenalee! Lenalee! I've finally found you!"

Lenalee gave him a patient smile.

"Uh, Lavi?" she asked. "What is it?"

_If my brother sees you he'll kill you…_

But at the moment, that fact was irrelevant, since Lenalee knew very well that Komui had very much to drink last night. So instead she chose to focus on what Lavi actually wanted.

"Lenalee-chan, you're never gonna believe this…" Lavi choked up, looking like he had run a 100-meters race, an assumption that wasn't all too far away from the actual truth. "I saw Kanda and Allen…"

He was interrupted by Allen's high-pitched voice. "He went left, left!"

At that moment Kanda rounded the corner with Allen in a tow. "There he is!"

Lavi gave up a much undignified shriek and started running again. "Ieeek!"

Lenalee looked after them, a bead of sweat running down her face.

_Why do I get the feeling Lavi has seen something he wasn't supposed to?_

"Lavi stop!"

"Give it up, BakaUsagi! You won't be getting out of this alive!"

Lavi gulped and continued searching for possible escape routes. By now they were in the area close to the cafeteria, but Lavi wasn't able to tell much else in the dark except for the fact that he was about to be cornered by two practically furious exorcists with murder on their minds.

"Uh, guys?" he tried smiling innocently at his future executors. "Can't we talk this over?"

Two pairs of eyes narrowed while gleaming with viciousness.

Apparently his future executors were not in the mood to talk.

- o0o -

After finally having beaten Lavi to a bloody pulp, slapping him, punching him, kicking him and yeah, having stomped a bit on his head they straightened out and walked away from the currently beaten up and apparently unconscious exorcist.

Allen was massaging his aching knuckles. "Finally. I got him."

Kanda was about to nod but startled as someone put on the lights, revealing that they were apparently standing in the doorway to the cafeteria.

Allen looked around at the walls in the cafeteria, the roof and the floors. Among the first things he laid eyes on was a big banderol saying **"Merry Christmas"** with a smaller one saying **"Happy birthday"**. The walls were covered with Christmas decorations and other such crap and the floor was covered with trash, the remnants of food and bodies.

Wait. Bodies?

Allen frowned as he realized that about half of the science department was lying on the floor in the cafeteria, some of them starting to stir at this very moment.

Allen sighed deeply.

_Terrific… An audience…_

"Uh, Moyashi…"

Allen snapped out of his reverie as Kanda yanked him by the sleeve.

"What is it, BaKanda?" he hissed at him.

"Look above you."

Allen looked up at the place that Kanda pointed out, but it took a few moments for his mind to fully comprehend what he was seeing. "…Mistletoe?"

Allen's eyes darted back to Kanda's. Their eyes met and they both realized the seriousness of the situation and chose to express their general opinion of it in unison.

"**Shit."**

Even Kanda was familiar enough with western traditions to know what standing under a mistletoe meant. And it wasn't a pleasant situation it offered, especially not since they had about a dozen witnesses, including Lenalee that had suddenly turned up a few feet away from them.

Allen looked at Kanda, eyes widening in confusion.

"But Kanda, what should we do?" he asked.

"Isn't that obvious?" Kanda growled. "Just get it over with, you twit."

"Hey, what do you mean by 'getting it over with'?" Allen asked, about to panic. "Hey, what the Hell do you mean by…"

He was silenced as Kanda pressed his lips over his own while holding his head in place. Allen's silver eyes widened with shock. The whole episode only lasted through a couple of second and as they broke off there was a trail of saliva between them that Kanda wiped away with his sleeve, looking pretty indifferent about it all while Allen remained frozen with shock.

Lavi appeared to have recovered from his injuries as he pleaded for someone to give him a camera, but all other spectators were too shocked with what they had just seen to hear him.

"You should really cut down on those mitarashi dango…" Kanda muttered.

As Allen finally snapped out of his shocked state his previous blush intensified and he slapped Kanda, who wasn't able to avoid getting hit in the face. Hard. Man that was going to hurt later…

"That was my first kiss, you ass!" Allen hissed at him, eyes dark with fury.

_Well, not really since I still had that thing with Road earlier and stuff…_

Kanda looked quite blankly at him; like that kiss had meant absolutely nothing to him.

The general public / the people that had witnessed the unbelievable all looked tensely at the pair, wondering what would happen next. A few of them had even started making bets of who would kill who.

Allen was still flushed, but after the slap his anger seemed to have calmed a bit. He still appeared to be struggling with his breathing though, no, he was practically hyperventilating by then.

"Hey, Moyashi! Calm down!" Kanda waved his hand in front of the white-haired teen's face, earning no reaction whatsoever, other than having said teen slump onto his shoulder. "Hey!"

"Man, Yu… You're freaking unbelievable…" Lavi said. "Is your breath really bad enough for people to faint by inhaling it?"

Kanda bent down, collected Allen's limp body in his arms and stood up while sending Lavi a murderous glare.

"It isn't my fault that the exhaustion of running after you finally caught up with him…" Kanda snorted at him while putting a hand on Allen's forehead, noting it was burning. "And thanks to you his fever seems to have spiked. Good job, BakaUsagi."

"Hey, don't you dare blaming all this on me, Yu." Lavi said. "And why would you know he's got a fever anyway?"

"Does the word **cold** spell out anything for you?" Kanda asked him coldly before walking off carrying Allen in his arms

Lavi blinked with surprise as he and the others saw Kanda disappear around the corner. Then Lavi looked up at the mistletoe hanging at the entrance to the cafeteria. He looked at Lenalee, who was standing and watching him silently. He gave her thumbs up.

"I couldn't have done it better myself," he said. "Good job."

Lenalee smirked, revealing some pretty evil intentions hiding beyond that fairly innocent smile.

- o0o -

"You are always overdoing things, you idiot," Kanda muttered as he dropped Allen onto his bed into a rather unceremonious fashion before taking a seat at his bedside, carefully stroking white bangs away from a heated forehead. "…Always playing the martyr…"

He leaned closer. "…Far too goody-goody and naïve for your own good…"

Dark blue eyes narrowed slightly. Then he leaned even further down, his lips barely touching the other's forehead before he once again retreated, pulling back and getting back to his feet.

"I really hate you, you bastard."

- o0o -

_Zaia *turns and looks questioningly at inner editor*: You cut out the extremely OOC angel part. Why?_

_Inner Editor/Hena: It was hurting my eyes._

_Zaia: Still… rewriting the whole thing isn't… right?_

_Hena: You're the one who asked me to edit this. Now suffer the consequences._

_Zaia: …You intend to go on in the same fashion?_

_Hena: If I feel like it, yes._

_Zaia: *facepalms*_


	2. Happy Hypocrites II

_Part Two…_

- o0o -

**Happy Hypocrites II**

- o0o -

**About a week before Christmas, the following took place at the Noah headquarters…**

- o0o -

"Well Road, it'll be Christmas soon," the Millennium Earl chuckled. "What do you want for Christmas this year?"

Road Camelot stilled at first, looking like she was thinking really hard about it for a moment before an evil smirk appeared on her childish face.

"…I want Allen Walker for Christmas," she then said without even a hint of hesitation.

"Allen Walker? That exorcist brat who always screws up my plans?" the Earl questioned, seemingly mystified. "Sure why not…"

"Thanks, Earl!" Road exclaimed and gave the Earl a hug, almost strangling him in the process.

As Road had finally released the grip she had onto the poor old man's neck she started jumping around looking really excited.

"Tyki-pet," the Earl looked up at the Noah of Pleasure that had been observing them for quite a while. "You'll go and get him?"

Tyki's yellowish golden eyes narrowed. That was definitely not a request but actually an order…

"Why should I go get him?" he asked. "It was you who promised her…"

There was a noticeable shift in the atmosphere.

"Tyki-pet…" the Earl said, his voice still sweet but his eyes and general aura overflowing with malicious intent.

He needn't say no more, as Tyki held his hands up as a sign of resignation to his apparent fate.

"Fine, whatever," Tyki then said while reaching for a smoke. "How would you like him packetized?"

Road grinned at him. "With ribbons, please?"

Tyki's eyebrow twitched. He had tried to be sarcastic, but apparently Road had taken his words literally. Again._ God I hate this…_

"May I break him?" he asked in one last attempt to make his life worth living again.

"No, that's my privilege," Road replied with a sweet evil smile playing on her lips. "I might let you play with him later though."

Somehow Tyki felt like banging his head against the wall. _Why oh merciful God? Why? _

"And since it seems I'm already infiltrating the exorcist Headquarters, would anyone else like to order something?" he asked in a voice dripping of sarcasm.

The twins looked up at him.

"Cross Marian if you happen to run into him on your way," they replied in unison before returning to their card game.

"Something sweet," replied Skin Bolic, who was sitting in a chair chewing candy. "This isn't sweet…"

Tyki's eyebrow twitched again.

"So Road wants Cheating Boy A, the twins want Cross Marian and Sweet Tooth wants candy…" he clarified. "What does Lulubell want for Christmas?"

"Sushi."

"And the Earl?"

The old man smiled up at him. "Other than the elimination of the Black Order and the destruction of the Heart, I'm good."

Tyki sighed heavily. _I might as well go and make a list… But why do __**I**__ have to do this?_

- o0o -

Christmas day, at around three in the morning, something slid down the chimney into the Black Order Headquarters, getting stuck briefly on the way and followed by hissed swearwords and other insults a very dirty figure dressed up as a tanned Santa Claus emerged from the fireplace, silently swiping the dust and ashes away from his carefully prepared costume.

_Man, the security in this place sucks…_

He sighed wearily as he looked up. _I have to check every freaking room in this building? Okay, first I slid down the chimney dressed like freaking Santa and now this?_

He got to his feet and started orientating himself in the building, which for your information was both dark and huge. _Too bad my night vision isn't as good as Lulubell's…_

After a bit of wandering around, he finally found himself outside of a door which somehow felt right. _Let's see here now… This should be the right one…_

He activated his Noah powers and slid right through the shut door. _And no one's in it. Just great. Now I have to keep looking._

This so called mission was a pain in the ass if you asked Tyki, since he had to do it undercover. Under any other circumstances even Noah had holidays they spent together, but apparently this one was an exception. Stupid Earl for going along with Road's demands… Oh how he utterly despised the festive season.

He continued walking through a couple of walls, stopping as he entered a fairly interesting room. _What the fuck is that flower over there doing in an hourglass? Oh well… This seems to be the room of that samurai boy I think._

He decided to have a look around simply for the fun of it. But as he saw who was occupying the bed he froze in his approach. No, quite frankly the scene that he witnessed was practically adorable, seeing Kanda sleeping with his arms wrapped around a sleeping Allen. _Wait a minute… Is that guy cuddling Cheating Boy A? Man, I would never have expected that… I guess appearances can be deceiving after all._

He stood frozen for an entire minute, just staring at the very unlikely pair. Then finally he sighed and backed off. He took another step back, took off his head garment and drew a hand trough his hair as a faint smile spread across his face. _I'm sorry Road… But I think I'll pass on abducting snow-haired angel boy tonight… Since I have a feeling that samurai boy will give me an even more painful death if I try something than you will if I come back empty-handed… _

With a sigh Tyki slid through the wall into another room, only to bump into a certain red-haired Bookman Apprentice that seemed to be having quite a hangover. "Uh… Hello?"

It was quite an awkward situation and Tyki felt a bead of sweat run down his face. _Not good…_

Lavi looked at him with wary eyes for a moment and then his face suddenly cracked up into this really huge smile while he flung out his arms and shouted: "**SANTA!"**

…Before he flung himself at him and hugged him.

Tyki froze up after this… rather peculiar action, but swiftly concluded that the Bookman Apprentice was still drunk and had accidentally mistaken him for Santa. Now that was some real luck for once. Seriously.

As Santa it would only be a natural thing to be able to pass through walls and other stuff. Tyki couldn't believe his luck.

"Gotta go…" he muttered and went through another wall as Lavi waved after him.

"Bye Santa!"

_Idiot…_

Tyki emerged from Headquarters, carrying only approximately five kilograms of fish in his sack. _Why does Christmas make everybody act like total idiots… or even more idiotic than usual?_

His question would forever remain unanswered.

- o0o -

_**And now, as the guys in Monty Python would say… on to something completely different.**_

_**The following apparently took place about two years previous at Christmas Eve somewhere in France…**_

- o0o -

Cross Marian walked down the icy streets of Paris, on his way home from a local pub. His breath stood like a cloud in the chilly winter air as he sighed. _Where did all the rich ladies go?_

Well, apparently most of them were home celebrating the festive season with their families and such.

With another sigh Cross reached for a cigarette and lit it. _Christmas is a really pointless season…_

He looked up at the night sky, briefly wondering what the brat was doing at that moment.

For once the brat had actually refused to play poker to make some money, so Cross was about to hand him another load of debts as some kind of improvised Christmas present. _Oh, how I HATE Christmas…_

He suddenly chuckled. _Nevertheless, I'm sure that I'll enjoy seeing the brat's expression when he sees what I'm planning on giving him…_

His chuckle turned into a sinister laugh that echoed through the quite empty streets only to end abruptly as is drowned in another chuckle that was heard from the rooftops. Cross looked up in surprise.

"Why, Earl, what an unpleasant surprise…" he said. "For what do I owe such honor?"

"Oh, just some late Christmas business…" the Earl chuckled in response. "And I have a message for you."

"A message?" Cross' eyebrow twitched.

The Earl's eyes glimmered.

"Tonight you will be visited by three spirits…" he solemnly announced. "And they shall teach you the true meaning of Christmas…"

"Oh spare me such junk," Cross laughed. "I don't give a damn about such stuff…"

The Earl merely grinned before taking off with his umbrella, leaving Cross ever wondering of how the Hell the Earl was able to fly with it like freaking Mary Poppins.

"Troublesome…" Cross muttered as he continued walking down the street only to stop a few moments later as a figure suddenly stood in his way.

"And who the Hell are you supposed to be?" he snarled at the newcomer.

The figure turned around, its features finally lit up. It was a young man dressed in a white cloak with a hood and a silver and black mask over the upper part of his face. The fingers on his left arm were clad in long iron claws. His complexion looked almost grey and the eyes that looked at him beneath the mask seemed almost golden.

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Past…" the figure said and removed his mask and hood, revealing a really messy black hair. "Or the 14th if you liked that one better…"

Cross snorted at him.

"The 14th I knew didn't wear a freaking white cape and a mask…" he said.

The 14th smiled.

"That's because if this story is supposed to make any kind of sense to you I have to take the form of someone you know…" he said. "But like you say, I'm not really the 14th."

Cross sighed and inhaled some smoke from his cigarette.

"Let's just get this over with…" he said. "I'm freezing my ass off here…"

The 14th pouted at him.

"Fine." he said and showed him quite a meaningless flashback.

"And what's that supposed to tell me?" Cross asked.

"That you're a jerk, ok?" the 14th said, eyes narrowing. "You're among the worst scum that this world has ever seen."

Cross bent his head down slightly.

"Why thanks for the compliment, dear 14th." he said, smirking at him.

The 14th looked slightly disgusted before he sighed.

"I'm so out of here…" he said and dissolved into nothingness.

Cross smirked in triumph, dropped his cigarette butt and stomped on it before taking out another cigarette and lighting it. "One down, two more to go."

He continued walking down the street, only to stop again after a few steps, seeing another shadow waiting for him down the street. This time it was Mana Walker who waited for him.

"Good evening…" he greeted, dressed up as a clown. "I'm the ghost of Christmas Present, but you may call me Mana as well…"

"Just get this over with…" Cross interrupted. "I don't have much time to waste on you people."

Mana nodded at him and showed him another flashback, one where Cross were drinking, gambling and enjoying himself with women and making debts for someone else to pay.

"That looked really fun…" Cross said once they returned to reality. "I should do that right now… But what was that supposed to teach me?"

Mana rolled his eyes.

"That you're a greedy and selfish bastard, what else?" he said. "I'll just go ahead now since I know you won't care anyway…" and with that he disappeared into thin air.

Cross' smirk widened. "Two down and one more to go."

He continued walking but soon stopped again as yet another shadow appeared further down on the street.

"Oh, don't tell me…" Cross said with the same smirk on his face. "You're the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come and you'll show me the future."

The shadow turned around, but Cross saw no facial features of the hooded figure as they were hidden in darkness. The figure wore a black cloak and said nothing, just bringing one of his hands up, a red and scaly one, and pointing straight at him, still silent.

Cross actually started feeling rather uncomfortable at the silent and he had already recognized that red abnormal hand as Allen's… But Allen was not a ghost now was he?

"Stop fooling around in the brat's shape, you ghost," Cross finally growled at it. "Just show me your point already so I can go home."

The cloaked figure that was Allen still stayed silent and still pointed at Cross with its deformed hand.

"Why won't you answer me?" Cross finally shouted at it.

The cloaked figure looked like it sighed before it briefly removed its hood, revealing a face that made Cross' heart stop for a moment.

"You…" he croaked after a moment, eyes wide and all anger replaced with something that was more similar to fear. "Why do you…"

The shadow covered its head with the hood again and started walking down the street in the opposite direction, briefly brushing past Cross' still figure, sending chills down his spine. It continued walking, its footsteps echoing in the night as Cross remained frozen, simply staring at it for a long time.

For what seemed like an eternity Cross continued hearing the other's steps, but then suddenly they were gone as a bell chimed somewhere far away.

Cross finally realized that his cigarette had gone out, but somehow he just didn't curse it or take out another one. Instead he went to their current apartment, not running, but still close enough to it. He slammed the door open and looked all around the room, eyes searching for something. They stopped at a white lump of hair lying on the windowsill. Cross, seeing Allen had apparently fallen asleep already suddenly let out a breath that he didn't know that he had held.

But somehow he still didn't feel a hundred percent sure yet so he shut the door behind him and walked up to the boy, bent down and laid his fingers onto his neck, finding the pulse that seemed slightly raised and sighing as a sign of relief.

Cross looked up at the misty window, seeing that there were some odd shapes drawn on it. Then he looked down at the boy again, silently wondering what he should do now.

Then Cross, partly to his own surprise, wrapped his arms around the boy's limbs and carried him over to the bed, setting him down with a surprising gentleness before tucking him in, even taking a brief moment to caress his snowy head before backing away and looking at him from the distance instead.

_For a moment there… I almost thought I might've lost you…_

And then…

- o0o -

Allen woke up with a startle, eyes wide and pupils dilated, only to squeeze them closed again as daylight stung in them.

_What the f*** was that all about?_, he mentally questioned, before his attention was drawn elsewhere and he temporarily forgot all about it.

He noticed an additional weight on his chest area and noticed it was Kanda's arm. Somehow he wasn't feeling too surprised about it, he guessed the initial shock had already passed the first time he found himself in this position.

As it seemed he was still wearing Kanda's slightly oversized cardigan, not that he particularly minded it, since it was quite comfortable once he'd gotten used to it.

Allen briefly wondered what time it was as he carefully removed Kanda's arm, sat up and swung his legs over the edge of a bed, sighing deeply.

"What's up this early in the morning, Moyashi?" Kanda muttered, having awoken by Allen's sudden movements.

"I had a nightmare…" Allen mumbled silently as he wondered whether he should get back to his own room or return to the warmth of the bed.

The latter, as it seemed Kanda had decided on as he pulled the white-haired teen back down. Allen registered Kanda's hand on his forehead and looked up at him with curious silver-gray eyes.

"You still have a slight fever," Kanda said while wearing a slightly discontent expression. "Go back to sleep."

Allen gave him a pale smile as his head fell back onto the pillow. "Sorry…"

Kanda's dark blue eyes glared at him. "Sorry for what?"

"For causing trouble…"

Kanda snorted. "If it was too much of a trouble I wouldn't have bothered doing it, so shut the Hell up and go back to sleep."

"I can't," Allen replied. "I just keep thinking about the dream…"

Kanda made a growling noise of disapproval as he got up a bit and leaned onto his elbow. "Fine, tell me about that freaking dream of yours…"

_Not that I really care about it anyway…_

Allen fell quiet for a while, long enough for Kanda to think that he had fallen asleep again.

"I dreamt about Master…" he said after a while. "And he was acting all nice and stuff… It was really scary…"

Kanda looked kind of like he had just swallowed a lemon. "What?"

Seeing Kanda's facial expression Allen couldn't help but laugh.

"You're delirious," Kanda said after a while.

Allen snickered.

"Maybe I am…" he rolled onto his side, facing Kanda. "But you're as well."

Kanda's eyebrow twitched.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

Allen smiled at him before getting up again.

"I think we should go to the others…" he said. "I think they're worried about us."

Kanda snorted at him.

"They'll start with the present opening in fifteen minutes or so," he coldly informed him. "But I don't feel like being there."

Allen blinked. "Why not?"

Kanda's eyes narrowed. "I don't celebrate Christmas."

Allen's eyes narrowed. "That fact certainly didn't seem to stop you with that mistletoe-thing."

Kanda found himself snickering.

- o0o -

"A-ah…" Lavi exclaimed while looking really disappointed. "So in the end I never really got to know what was going on between Yu and Allen…"

"It was probably nothing…" Lenalee said as she continued bandaging the numerous wounds inflicted on him by them. "Or maybe it was something since they beat you up this bad…" she sighed "What did you see them doing anyway?"

A mischievous grin appeared on Lavi's face.

"Do you really wanna know?" he asked in a sing-along voice.

Lenalee sweat-dropped. _What the Hell did you see?_

After Lavi had finished telling his story to a giggling Lenalee he suddenly came to think of something else he had recently experienced. "Lenalee…"

She looked up at him, still with a really amused expression on her face.

"What is it?" she asked.

Lavi stared thoughtfully out the window. "I think I met Santa last night."

"Eh?"

- o0o -

"What do you mean by you 'couldn't do it', Tyki?" Road said with a pout. "I want Allen and not an excessive amount of sushi…"

Tyki sighed. "Eat your sushi and shut the Hell up…"

_I hate Christmas…_

"This isn't sweet…"

"This isn't Cross…"

"Just shut the Hell up, okay?"

"Tyki-pet really can't do anything right…"

"At least not besides making good sushi…"

"This is really good…"

Tyki rolled his eyes again while continuing his work. _I'm so not cutting down on the wasabi after this… I'll make them taste true agony…_

- o0o -

It was already Christmas morning when Reever finally decided to return to working overtime, and at the moment he was turning Headquarters upside and down looking for his boss, namely Komui Lee, who rarely ever missed an opportunity to slack off from his work. Christmas was no exception to this, or at least so it seemed.

"Supervisor Komui, I need your sign on this!" Reever shouted as he flung open the door to said supervisor's office, only to freeze in his steps as he carefully observed the scene in front of him. And no, it wasn't Komui doing his work.

It was Komui and Jerry chatting cheerfully as they added various ingredients into this big boiling cauldron standing where Komui's desk was supposed to have been. Said desk had been moved a bit further away and was covered with loads of ingredients rather than the paper work that should've really been there.

"Umm… Boss, what are you doing?"

Komui looked up with a smile on his face as he finally acknowledged Reever's presence. "I'm cooking."

Reever frowned lightly. "Shouldn't you be working?"

"It's Christmas and we all deserve a break… or two…" Komui replied, feigning innocence. "And besides, I'm busy helping Jerry with the chocolate desert."

Reever looked at the boiling liquid in the cauldron and his eyebrow twitched.

"That's chocolate?" he said with a clear sense of disbelief.

"No it's gingerbread. Honestly, are you blind or something?" Komui sarcastically responded.

"Haaay! Reever-chan." Jerry finally greeted Reever, as he had previously been too busy with whatever witch potion he and Komui were making to deliver a proper greeting. "Wanna join in?"

Reever looked from one crazy maniac to another before answering.

"No, I think I'll pass," he said with a shrug. "I've got work to do," he turned to Komui. "Now if you would just sign this and I'll leave you to and your… chocolate desert alone."

Komui merely waved him off. "That can wait. Just put the paper somewhere over there and I'll see to it later…"

Reever sighed, knowing well what the word _later_ meant in Komui's vocabulary. _Well… not my problem now, is it?_

"I'll excuse myself now," he said and left through the same door he came from, slamming it shut behind him.

Komui and Jerry looked at each other for a moment and an evil smirk appeared on Komui's face as he pulled out what he had been hiding behind his back ever since Reever had entered the room. With pride he held up the mistletoe that he had gone through such hardships to get. "My secret ingredient."

Jerry gave him two thumbs up.

"Let's make some gingerbread as well when we're done with this." he said, pulling out a secret ingredient of his own. "…With a special recipe, of course."

Evil laughter was heard from Komui's office.

- o0o -

Meanwhile, the Noah clan didn't have a very merry Christmas after all…

"It burns… Water… Please…"

"This isn't sweet…"

"I think I'm dying inside…"

…Due to a certain someone having exaggerated a bit with the wasabi.

"Tyki… Could you get me some water? Please?"

Tyki ignored his kindred's pleads and continued enjoying his own share of sushi, much less spicy than the rest he had previously made… as he had suddenly and rather unexpectedly run out of wasabi.

"You said you wanted spicy and I gave you spicy…" he said while trying to conceal the evil smirk that wanted to appear on his face as he watched the other members of the Noah clan twitch in agony on the floor. "What's wrong with that?"

A groan was heard from the others and Tyki smiled innocently from his current position in the chair (or throne if you prefer it) that the Earl usually sat in, but seeing the Earl's currently rather pitiful state of being Tyki couldn't help but laugh, even though he knew well that he would eventually come to pay for this act of insolence.

"Cooking is more fun than I expected," he said, looking quite content with life in general. "I think I should do this more often…"

Another rather disapproving groan was heard from the others.

"Aw come on…" Tyki said, his golden eyes glittering with a mix of utter mischief and sadism. "Let's spice things up a bit."

A collective sigh of agony heard and Tyki's grin widened. "I'll take that as a yes then."

- o0o -

Meanwhile, Kanda and Allen had finally made their way to the cafeteria, which finally seemed to have been cleaned up a bit compared to how it had looked earlier on. What surprised them was the sight of Jerry handing out chocolate and gingerbread to everyone.

With a bit of hesitation Allen received gingerbread from him when he came to them and looked curiously at Kanda as he was offered one as well.

"No thanks," Kanda snorted. "I hate sweet things."

"No wonder you aren't nice when you don't eat gingerbread…" Allen mumbled.

"What was that, Moyashi?" Kanda asked, annoyed. "Did you tell me to take a piece of gingerbread and shove it down your throat?"

"You hear only what you want to hear," Allen said as he took a bite out of it and swallowed it. "But I guess that's you, BaKanda."

Kanda responded with a disapproving grunt as he noticed Lavi standing a bit further away; looking at them with a supposed I-know-what-you-did-last-night expression plastered all over his face while munching on a piece of gingerbread with a cheerful expression.

Kanda allowed his eyes to wander around the cafeteria, stopping at Komui who seemed to be exchanging constant glances with Jerry every once in a while. Kanda frowned at the sight. _There is definitely something fishy going on here…_

Then he noticed something tugging at his sleeve. He looked down and his dark blue eyes widened in disbelief. Then he looked up, his eyes observed the rest of the room quietly, observing a truly intimidating effect spreading at a fast pace before returning to look at the one who had tugged at his sleeve, namely Allen, reduced to what seemed to be a mere ten-year-old.

The discovery!

The horror!

The utter cuteness!

After a bit of hesitant staring Kanda picked said adorable white-haired ten-year-old in his arms, wincing slightly as the young Allen pulled at his bangs.

At that moment Reever chose the right moment to waltz into the cafeteria.

"So that's what they were planning…" he said and scratched his head. "It's like a freaking day-care center in here…"

He noticed that Kanda was glaring at him while holding into his now younger Moyashi with one hand and pointing Mugen at him with the other. "What the Hell is going on here?"

Reever sighed and continued scratching his head. "Who knows…"

- o0o -

Facing the threat of Kanda's sword, Reever once again sighed and surveyed the great mess that Komui and Jerry were probably responsible for, the major part of the Headquarter' personal having shrunk to their preteen years, with the exception of himself and Kanda, since they hadn't eaten of Jerry and Komui's "poisoned" gingerbread and chocolate candy.

"Why does this kind of things always happen around here?" he muttered while about to leave the cafeteria, only to be stopped by the sharp point of a sword.

"Where the Hell do you think you're going?" Kanda hissed at him while holding the currently younger and relentlessly adorable Allen on one of his arms while pointing Mugen at him with the other.

Reever merely shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm going to give a call to the Asian Branch…" He announced. "As I somehow strongly doubt that Supervisor Komui is in any condition to solve this mess…" he took a glance at a twelve-year-old Komui Lee partying around with currently twelve-year-old Jerry. "…I'm going to contact Bak Chan from the Asian Branch…" he took a glance at the swords tip that was currently aimed at him. "…If you would be so kind that you would remove that blade out of my face then I might be able to solve this mess…"

Kanda's eyebrow twitched.

"And what. Am I. Supposed. To do. With this?" he growled as the ten-year-old Allen pinched his cheek.

Reever scratched his head. "Oh, I don't know… Play with him or something?"

Kanda looked like he was going to murder somebody.

"P-L-A-Y?" he spat out, one letter at the time, clearly showing his utter despise for the word. "Why should I?"

Reever clearly didn't look interested. "Hey, be grateful I didn't ask you to babysit them all."

"But why the Hell would I…"

"In case you haven't noticed, Kanda," Reever coldly interrupted him and placed a firm hand onto his shoulder. "You are the only person that can still be considered to be somewhat of an adult, besides me of course."

And with that Reever sped out of the cafeteria, leaving Kanda totally alone against an army of young children. Needless to say, Kanda looked a bit frightened as the army of children started advancing towards him, a terrifying expression in their eyes, looking like they had seen something cute and soft and… Wait a minute…

"Stop tugging at my hair…" he growled at Allen, who immediately let go of his bangs while trying to look innocent. "…And help me figure out a plan to keep them busy."

Allen blinked and smiled innocently at him. "Poker?"

"Would poker defeat an army of more than a hundred grade-schoolers?" Kanda hissed at him. "Can't you think of something better?"

Allen pouted at him, making him look even more adorable than before. "Hide and Seek?"

Kanda seemed to be thinking franticly while seeing the horde of children coming closer and closer. He gritted his teeth.

"Fine…" he hissed. "Let's play Hide and Seek!"

The children looked curious and instantly forgot their earlier objective, which by the way had been to pat Kanda's hair.

An eleven-year-old Lavi made his way up to Kanda, his eye glittering with the usual mischief and his face lit up by a grin. "Then you're It, Yu."

Kanda looked at him with a sense of true animosity while battling with his inner monologue.

_Come on… Beat him down…_

_He's currently an eleven-year-old child. It wouldn't be fair._

_Since when are these things fair? He called you by your first name. He deserves it._

_I know he deserves it, but I'm alone against about a hundred people of the same kind here…_

_Coward…_

Feeling clearly annoyed by the fact that he had just been called a coward by his inner voice, Kanda chose to compromise. He sheathed Mugen and used his free hand to nudge the redhead's hair.

"You're It," he growled at Lavi, who was currently wincing in pain. "I'm the adult here so just shut up and listen to me."

Lavi held his hands protectively over his head while sticking his tongue out at Kanda, who rewarded this particular action with a death glare.

Meanwhile, a nine-year-old Lenalee had appeared beside them, looking up at Kanda with a puppy eyes expression that made him sick. "Will you give me a piggyback ride, Brother Kanda?"

"No I will not," Kanda hissed. "We're playing Hide and Seek, and BakaUsagi over here…" he patted Lavi on the head. "…Will be It."

Lavi looked up at him with an almost suspicious expression on his face.

"How far will I be counting?" he asked.

"To 4000," Kanda replied.

"4000?" Lavi shrieked. "That's gonna take like forever…"

"Do you think I care?" Kanda said while already taking off, with Allen still on his arm. "Just start counting already."

Lavi pouted slightly.

"Fine…" he said before he moved towards a wall and started counting. "1…2…3…"

The rest of the children followed Kanda's example and started leaving the cafeteria. "…4…5…6…"

As soon as everybody's steps had died down young Lavi smirked and continued counting. "…12…24…48…"

- o0o -

_**Meanwhile, in Komui's office…**_

"Sure… I do get what you mean, but there's like no way for me to do anything about that if you can't get the recipe for that thing…" the voice on the other end of the line said in a slightly bored tone. "…And besides, I have my own work to take care of…"

"It's Komui we're talking about," Reever said with a sigh. "These sorts of things always happen whenever he's involved…"

"Well…" the voice on the other end of the line said after a brief silence. "…That's just too bad for you. I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do for you so goodbye…"

Reever, having the distinct feeling that Bak was about to hang up on him played out his last triumph card to keep him on the line. "If you find the cure then I'll send a couple of pictures of Lenalee to you."

Bak immediately seemed more interested in the issue. "Really?"

Reever rolled his eyes; this was good, but Bak still didn't have enough motivation to find the cure yet.

"Well…" he said with a bit of thought. "Let me put it this way…"

"What?"

Reever's eyes narrowed as he prepared himself for dealing last hit. "…Unless you want to be charged with being a paedophile for stalking a nine-year-old Lenalee…"

Bak sounded like he had just choked on something.

"Nine-year-old?" he spat out. "No way…"

"And she might stay that way unless you find a proper cure for it…"

A brief silence followed.

"I'll get to it right this moment! The mighty me shall not fail you!" Bak shouted out of nowhere. "And don't forget the pictures., he added in a low voice before hanging up.

Reever took a moment to simply look at the phone before sighing deeply. _I knew should've transferred back to Australia when I had the chance…_

- o0o -

"…96…192…384…768…1536…3072…"

"…3144…3288…3576…"

"3997…3998…3999…"

"…4000."

Lavi looked up with an expression beaming with mischief.

"I'm coming!"

- o0o -

_**Meanwhile, elsewhere…**_

- o0o -

"So basically, I'll be in my room if you need me. See you," Tyki said and shut the door to his room, leaving the rest of the Noah clan as well as the Millennium Earl still slumped on the floor writhing in agony after having tasted Tyki's culinary wrath in the shape of an extreme amount of wasabi.

Sure, it had been a truly pleasurable amusement to watch the currently pitiful state of the rest of the Noah clan; however, Tyki had at least one more ace of entertainment up his sleeve.

Of course Tyki hadn't played the part of a thieving Santa in the Order for nothing, while he had been there he had taken a chance that would provide him with some further entertainment and a deeper knowledge and perspective on his enemies.

Now, what had he done?

No, guess again.

No, seriously.

Okay, fine.

He had installed an unknown number of hidden surveillance cameras in the Order and was about to gain some entertainment by watching what those exorcist where up to, unbeknownst to the fact that he was in for far more entertainment than he had expected.

Tyki locked the door behind him and made his way to a comfortable chair as he turned on the newly attained and installed monitors. As it was still quite early in the morning he hadn't fully expected to see an approximately eleven-year-old Bookman apprentice come into the vision of one of his hidden cameras as he ran by with a mischievous grin on his face.

Wait… An eleven-year-old Bookman apprentice?

He blinked slightly with surprise and turned to look at his other monitors, only to catch a glimpse of a certain samurai running after a certain white-haired cursed teen currently reduced to a ten-year-old.

Tyki smirked and grabbed a hold of a piece of snacks that he had earlier conveniently taken from some other Noah's personal belongings.

"This is going to be so much fun."

- o0o -


	3. Happy Hypocrites III

_Part Three…_

- o0o -

**Happy Hypocrites III**

- o0o -

"Damn it… I lost him," Kanda swore under his breath as he surveyed his surroundings.

In an inattentive moment Allen had slipped out of his grip and dashed off without any further explanation, leaving Kanda to pursue him.

Then suddenly, he felt something and abruptly turned his head and glared at a seemingly empty spot on the wall near the ceiling. He frowned. _I'm certain that there was somebody watching me just now…_

His eyes narrowed and he gritted his teeth. _I don't have time for this kind of crap…_

He ran off as he vaguely caught the sound of somebody approaching, but judging from the sound he could tell that it wasn't Allen, neither in his normal fifteen-year-old state nor his currently ten-year-old state… By the way, where the Hell had he run off to?

- o0o -

A certain currently ten-year-old white-haired parasitic exorcist curled up in a corner of his hideout, keeping his breath and listening tensely with his eyes half lidded in the dark space. He heard the quite heavy footsteps of the raven-haired samurai as he walked past his hideout, stopping briefly. Allen squeezed his eyes closed and waited.

Nothing happened and Kanda continued down the corridor.

Allen relaxed slightly and let his breath out with a sigh before looking around the dark space that he had confined himself in. He wrinkled his nose as a vague scent of something that had become painfully familiar with in the darker part of his childhood, namely a mixed scent of old alcohol and tobacco.

Allen had finally come to realize exactly whose old room he had happened to stumble into and he didn't like it. He put the sleeves of the currently oversized cardigan he was wearing over his mouth to prevent himself from coughing too loud. _Master's room… I just can't believe my luck…_

He refrained from an ironic smile and concentrated on the sounds outside. _I can't hear anyone… But…_

Allen got to his unsteady feet and was about to make his way to the door, only to trip because of his oversized shoes. He fell to the floor with a thump and lay there cursing the whole situation.

_Why won't anybody leave me alone on Christmas Eve?_

_Why did I end up spending it with Kanda?_

_Why did I end up shrinking?_

_Why did this all have to happen?_

_Why are we playing Hide and Seek?_

_Why did I end up in Master's old room?_

_Why did I run away from Kanda anyway?_

Allen sighed deeply but still didn't get up from the old and dusty carpet that he had fallen on. He turned his head slightly and stared blankly into the darkness for a few moments.

_I didn't want to be a bother to anyone… _

_I don't want people to worry about me…_

_I'm fine really…_

_I just want to be left alone for one freaking day of the year…_

To his surprise a voice answered him.

"**Sure, you don't want to be a bother, but with that martyr-complex of yours you definitely are."**

"**Sure you don't want people to worry, but the rash way you act make them worry about you."**

"**No really, you're not fine."**

"**Sure, you want to be left alone, but have you ever tried telling them that?"**

Allen blinked with surprise.

"What?" he asked out loud.

"**I asked you if you've ever tried asking people to leave you alone instead of hiding behind that fake smile of yours and pretending everything's fine," **the voice answered with a snort.

"Who are you?" Allen asked, more quietly this time.

"**Oh, I don't know… The Spirit of Christmas Past or something like that, I suppose."**

Allen's eyes widened slightly. "You're kidding right?"

- o0o -

Tyki focused his eyes to a single monitor that had kept him preoccupied for the last few minutes. They narrowed. _He's talking to someone…_

_Who?_

- o0o -

The currently ten-year-old Allen tried his best not to panic by the fact that there was a voice in his head, one different from the one in his usual inner monologue, one he wasn't familiar with.

_Am I going crazy?_

That question had been nagging him on several previous occasions and annoyingly enough he still had no answer to it.

"**Well, crazy might be a bit of an exaggeration but I can't really call you sane anyway."**

And there it was again, the thing which Allen without a second thought had dubbed **the Scary Voice**.

He immediately felt this awkward need to take cover in a corner or hide somewhere, even though he was already conscious about the fact that the Scary Voice only existed in his head. Yes, then that would explain it all now, wouldn't it? All these strange occurrences and being turned into a ten-year-old just had to do some kind of damage and there he had it, he was starting to hear things that weren't there…

"**Hey… Isn't it kind of mean to ignore me when I'm talking to you over here?"**

Okay, the voice wouldn't die down simply by him ignoring it. Damn, plan A failed.

On to plan B then. Self-persuasion.

"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening…"

"**Hey…"**

"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening…"

"**Hey…"**

"It's all in my head, it's all in my head, it's all in my head, it's all in my head…"

"**Well, I can't deny that but hey…"**

"It's all in my head, it's all in my head, it's all in my…"

"**Won't you just shut up and listen?"**

"Who are you?" Allen asked.

The Scary Voice sighed. "**You've already asked that."**

Allen stayed silent for a few moments before speaking up again.

"You told me to shut up and I did," he said. "So what do you want?"

"**I merely intended to inform you of the fact that if you keep talking that loudly there's an increasing risk of you being found."**

Allen's hands immediately clasped his mouth and he listened nervously around for the sound of approaching footfalls. He heard none, letting out a relieved sigh. Then he suddenly froze up for a few moments, as a sudden chill ran down his spine.

"Is it just me or is there somebody watching me?" he asked and suppressed a cough.

"**Well…"** the Scary Voice replied after a few seconds. **"There is somebody spying on you right now using that surveillance camera over there…"**

Allen's eyes instantly went from widened in shock and narrowed in a malicious way that usually only appeared whenever he was playing a card game. The entity known to others as Black Allen.

"Where?" he asked, all fear of the Voice instantly forgotten.

"**Well… Since I'm just a voice and can't point in the right direction so I suggest you turn around and look at that corner over there right by the ceiling…"**

A moment later Allen burst into flaming mode.

The Voice chuckled. "**This is going to be quite interesting."**

- o0o -

Meanwhile, Kanda was still running around and looking for his runaway Moyashi. Yes, **his** Moyashi. Kanda had no idea since when Allen had become his but he didn't care much about that anyway as he was far too busy in looking for him.

As he turned the corner he suddenly came face to face with a certain redhead who smiled evilly at him.

"I've found you!"

Kanda didn't hesitate to smack the flat side of Mugen into the back of the poor kid's skull, holding back a bit so that he wouldn't crush his skull, not that he would've hesitated in using full strength if Lavi hadn't been an eleven-year-old kid at that moment. Man, lately he had just grown too soft on everything.

As Lavi's childlike form fell to the floor with a thud, Kanda just continued his way down the corridor, feeling a bit content as one of the obstacles standing in his way of finding Allen had been put out of commission for at least two hours. And since Lavi had been It then there would be no conclusion to the game in that time. This also meant that he had two hours to find Allen and put all of this nonsense behind him.

_Now where is he?_

- o0o -

Tyki involuntarily backed a few steps as the ten-year-old Allen Walker turned around and glared right into the camera with a kind of malice that would even be able to rival one of the Noah's. A bead of sweat ran down his face.

"Cheating boy A?"

The malicious and purely evil aura that suddenly manifested itself around the white-haired boy sent Tyki another three steps backwards. Screw that, Allen Walker just had to be the true evil in this world… Not even the Earl had such aura even when they had been betrayed by the 14th.

Suddenly Allen's lips moved again and Tyki's curiosity won over his fear and he crept closer to the monitor. To his surprise he found that he was able to read Allen's lips.

***I…***

***Have…***

***Found…***

***You…***

Immediately Tyki's feeling of terror returned and a moment later all screens went black. "Holy crap."

- o0o -

Suddenly the door to Cross Marian's old room was slashed open and a triumphant voice was heard. "I've found you now, you damn Moyashi!"

Allen looked up, his eyes still carrying a malicious look and the evil aura was still lingering around him. "Scram. I don't have time to deal you right now, BaKanda."

Kanda paid no attention to this and walked up to him, grabbing him by the collar and lifting him into the air.

"Since when do I have to take orders from a fifteen-year-old kid, even less from a puny ten-year-old, Moyashi?" Kanda asked with a snort.

"Anyways, I have no time for this," Allen said with a similar snort. "I have a person to kill."

"What?"

- o0o -

More evil aura flared up and the screen blacked out.

- o0o -

Tyki stared at the black screen in awe for a few seconds while his brain kept on processing what he had just witnessed. After a while he concluded two things.

One: Allen Walker aka Cheating Boy A did possess a dark side which could rival his own.

Two: that dark side was currently out to kill him.

Another bead of sweat ran down his face.

- o0o -

Meanwhile a currently ten-year-old Allen was making his way through a corridor with Kanda at his heels.

"And exactly how do you know that there's somebody watching us?" said samurai asked with a grunt as he continued observing the steady flow of dark aura surrounding Allen.

"I just know it," Allen replied darkly and picked up his pace.

Kanda gave him another odd look and walked faster to keep up with Allen's pace.

"And why are you going after it?" he asked with a suspicious look on his face.

Allen stopped for a brief moment, seemingly annoyed with having Kanda trailing him wherever he was going. He tilted his head up and looked at the raven-haired teen for a moment before he continued walking at an even faster pace than before.

"Because the voice which lives in my head told me to," he muttered under his breath.

"…"

Kanda's eyebrow twitched slightly and he looked like he was seriously starting to doubt Allen's sanity, but he said nothing. He also refused to admit that the malicious aura surrounding Allen was seriously triggering his senses. Was it fear? No way. But still… Hearing voices could never be a good sign…

Then Kanda suddenly realized something. "Hey, Moyashi."

The evil aura flared up a bit as Allen stopped and turned around, giving him a glare that would match the Evil Eye. "What?"

Kanda tried his best not to flinch as the hoarse voice spoke, sounding so unlike Allen's normal one.

"Exactly how do you intend to find whoever is watching us?" he asked.

Allen froze immediately and remained that way for a few moments before his body started shivering and a cackling noise rose from his throat.

Kanda involuntarily backed a step, his eyes widening slightly. _He's laughing…_

Alright, so Kanda was now more than ever starting to get convinced about the fact that Allen was likely not too sane anymore. Hearing things was one thing, but laughing evilly for no apparent reason was never a good sign.

Then suddenly Allen looked up at him, pulled something out and smiled innocently at him.

"This," Allen said simply before he started giggling evilly.

Kanda stared perplexedly at the object in Allen's hand, namely a doll which looked frighteningly similar to a voodoo doll. It even possessed a face that was frighteningly familiar to him, namely the face of the Noah he had later come to identify as Tyki Mikk / the Mysterious Hobo With Clear Killing Intent.

But that still didn't explain why Allen knew Tyki was behind all of this and it really didn't explain the fact that Allen seemed to possess a voodoo doll in shape of Tyki, so Kanda, against better judgment, decided to ask him about it.

"If you already have that doll (wherever you got it from), what are you looking for?"

"I'm looking for some nails to hammer into it," Allen replied like it was the most natural and sane thing in the world to do, which it obviously wasn't.

_Poisoned chocolate and gingerbread…Hidden surveillance cameras…Voodoo dolls… Nails…_

'_This just owes to be the scariest Christmas_ _ever'_ Kanda concluded as he continued following the murderous white-haired midget in his quest to find a hammer and some nails.

- o0o -

Elsewhere Reever were making his way through a seemingly deserted corridor only to encounter the still form of the eleven-year-old Lavi, still out from Kanda's assault on him earlier.

Reever sighed heavily and scratched his head. "I should've told Kanda to play nice…"

- o0o -

Somewhere else in Headquarters the preteen Komui and Jerry that had hidden within an old storage were both starting to get bored with playing Hide and Seek. So they started looking for some of Komui's old experiments.

Not good.

"Hey look, it's Komuvitan D. I thought I'd lost that."

And from there on, all Hell broke loose.

- o0o -

It was on Christmas day, nearing noon when a horde of Black Order personnel turned into children due to poisoned gingerbread and chocolate turned into zombies due to Komui finding the dreaded Komuvitan D.

…And since the at the moment approximately twelve-year-old Komui and Jerry were getting really bored with the game of Hide and Seek they decided to make things more interesting by infecting the first unlucky person who just happened to pass by in the corridor, which just happened to be a certain Inspector Leverrier and his lapdog Howard Link, who had both come seemingly to disrupt the Christmas spirit and get people to resume their work.

Things didn't go quite according to plan though since Leverrier got infected with the virus, bit Link in the neck and from there on the game was on.

At a quarter past noon about half of the people residing in Headquarters had been infected, so various masses of preteen children were roaming around, looking for another prey to attack…

- o0o -

"Tch," Kanda hissed from his and Allen's current hiding place in Allen's room where they had locked themselves up after they finally got rid of the virus-infected Lenalee who had been stalking them for the last few hours. "First people get turned into children by poisoned candy and now they all get turned into zombies? No wonder there is never any work done around here."

Allen nodded absentmindedly while reaching for a couple of needles, as he hadn't been able to find any nails. He took the voodoo doll he had mysteriously acquired from somewhere in one hand and held a needle in his other as Kanda was watching him with a bored and tired expression.

"What are you doing, Moyashi?" he asked and moved closer.

Allen froze instantly at the sudden closeness and looked up at him. "Nothing."

Kanda's eyes narrowed. _That's such a lie; just a few hours ago you claimed that you were going to kill someone with that thing…_

Allen put the doll back onto the floor and adjusted the needle in his hand before he started stabbing it over and over again.

Kanda frowned slightly, once again seriously doubting Allen's sanity but the more he watched Allen beat the crap out of the doll, the more interested he became. He grabbed onto Allen's wrist to stop him, bending the needle out of his grip. Allen, who was still in the form of a ten-year-old, stared suspiciously at him.

"I just want to try it," Kanda explained. "It looked like fun."

"Kanda…" Allen said and looked up at him with an amused expression. "I didn't know you were a sadist."

"I'm not," he said before making repetitive stabbing motions with the needle under Allen's critical supervision.

Allen's eyes narrowed and he looked away.

"Amateur," he mumbled.

Kanda looked up, glaring at him with truly unfriendly eyes. "What was that, Moyashi?"

To his surprise Allen gave him a truly innocent smile as he asked him if he could borrow Mugen for a moment.

"No way in Hell," Kanda answered. "Why?"

"Because when using voodoo on a Noah then I thought that Innocence might prove more effective…"

Kanda blinked. Allen's reasoning actually made sense to him for once.

"Fine," he said, unsheathing Mugen. "But I'll do it."

Allen's eyes narrowed dangerously again, but he made no protests as Kanda held Mugen over the doll, making himself ready to deal a decisive blow. But he was interrupted as there was a knock on the door, distracting him from the doll.

Kanda and Allen both looked at the door as the knocking resumed. Then they looked at each other, still silent. As the knocking continued and increased in strength Kanda gave Allen a sign that they should both head closer for the window.

As the door was kicked down and a horde of zombielike children flooded into the room their prey had already seen it fit to escape through the window, making their way out of there by climbing on the building's façade.

- o0o -

Meanwhile at the Asian Branch leader Bak Chan had finally figured out the cure and was currently calling Headquarters. After several minutes with the receiver pressed against his ear his patience finally ran out and he slammed it back into place.

"Nobody's picking up."

Bak's eyes narrowed as a chill ran through his spine; since Komui was likely the one responsible for whatever had silenced the one at the other end of the line it just had to be something out of the ordinary. _I guess something happened…_

Bak sighed and sent his instructions on how to make a cure over to Headquarters electronically and went back to the Christmas party of the Asian branch; being pretty much two continents away it wasn't much that he could do for the people at Headquarters, and it wasn't his responsibility in the first place. But he still wondered how the Hell Komui and not himself had been appointed as the Supervisor of Headquarters. _Well, their problem. Not mine._

"Hurry up BakaBak!" Fou shouted. "Somebody sent us chocolate."

Bak blinked with surprise.

"Chocolate?" he asked, slightly suspicious. "Who sent it?"

Before she was able to answer, a scream pierced the air.

Bak, knowing pretty well what is was likely to be, rolled his eyes and sighed. "The Headquarters will have to manage on their own. We have enough problems as it is."

_Komui… I'll make you pay for this…_

- o0o -

Meanwhile Tyki was experiencing some severe back pains.

"First my monitors break and now my back starts hurting like Hell…" he muttered as he sat himself down into a chair. "This really isn't my day…"

- o0o -

Meanwhile Kanda were climbing on the Headquarters' façade with the currently ten-year-old Allen holding onto his back.

"The whole zombie problem aside…" Kanda said after a bit of strenuous climbing. "How are we supposed to turn all those other freaks back?"

Allen was silent, seemingly deep in thought.

"Hey Kanda…" he said after a while.

"What?" Kanda asked.

"If all turned children because they ate sweet stuff… wouldn't they all turn back if one force-fed them with… something not sweet?" Allen asked.

Kanda frowned as he continued climbing.

"What kind of stupid reasoning is that, Moyashi?" Kanda retorted with a snort. "There's no way it would be that easy…"

_Or would it?_

Kanda sighed heavily. "Fine, we'll give it a try… But we have to solve this zombie thing first."

"Kanda…" Allen said again after a while.

"What do you want Moyashi?" Kanda asked, seemingly annoyed.

"Do you think that voodoo would work on zombies?"

"How the Hell am I supposed to know?"

- o0o -

Kanda and the ten-year-old Allen had finally made their way to the roof, a place the zombies apparently hadn't reached yet. Hence, they sat down and had a strategic meeting.

"So…" Kanda concluded without enthusiasm. "We already do have a theory about the cure for the poisoned gingerbread and chocolate, however, that still leaves the much more urgent zombie issue…"

"I'm cold," Allen said, shivering a bit.

Kanda ignored him. "Since we've already concluded three things…"

"I'm cold."

"No, not that."

"I'm cold."

"Shut up when I'm talking, Moyashi!"

"I'm cold."

Kanda gave him an irritated glare before he shrugged off his coat and draped it around the white-haired child's shoulders.

"Now…" he said. "Will you please shut up?"

Allen scowled at him with a face worthy of Kanda himself while pulling the coat closer to himself, but he said nothing so Kanda continued with his conclusion.

"So… Conclusion number one: this whole zombie thing is likely one of that Idiot-Supervisor's experiments. Conclusion number two: it's likely a virus you get infected by with blood or saliva, since those zombies were definitely aiming to bite us…"

Allen rolled his eyes.

"And that means?" he then asked in a somewhat bored tone.

Kanda scowled at him.

"That leads to conclusion number three…" Kanda replied with an annoyed snort. "There has to be a source to the infection somewhere."

Allen smirked.

"Well that's easy…" he said, laughing dryly. "We only have to find someone who **is** infected but who **doesn't** have any visible bite marks."

Kanda stared at him, his eyebrow twitching.

"I truly hate to admit it, but you do have a point," he hissed after a while. "But since we now **do** have a way to find the source, what would our next move be?"

Allen swallowed soundly. "That would be fighting a zombie army, but before that we need to get something…"

Kanda tilted his head to the side.

"Get what?" he asked with a clear tone of suspicion in his voice.

Allen looked up, smiling innocently at him.

"Kanda, you wouldn't happen to have something that isn't sweet with you, would you?" he asked.

"No."

"Damn."

- o0o -

And so their first move was to get down to the cafeteria, without getting themselves bitten on the way, which was more difficult than expected. Much more difficult…

Then, after a few minutes of thinking they decided on the jump-down-really-far-and-then-grab-onto-a-window-sill-plan. It was an overall success, although they had been quite close to death.

As it appeared even the zombies hadn't been able to phantom this possibility, so with the surprise-assault-technique Kanda and Allen succeeded in getting to the kitchen, which had previously been abandoned, luckily for them. But they didn't have much time to get what they came for so they just grabbed whatever they were able to find, which just happened to be approximately a hundred tubes of wasabi. Allen held up his find to Kanda.

"Is this sweet?" he asked.

"No. It's spicy," Kanda answered.

"Do you think it would work?" Allen asked.

Kanda shrugged his shoulders before his eyes suddenly narrowed and he put his hands onto Mugen's handle.

"Hurry up," he said. "They're coming."

Allen gulped before consuming an entire tube of wasabi before collapsing in a heap on the floor a few seconds late, screaming out loud. "Water! It's burning up my insides!"

Kanda gave him a brief look before returning his concentration to the zombie threat enclosing on them.

"I told you it was spicy, BakaMoyashi," he muttered.

Allen felt like he was burning inside, literally burning, like his bones were melting… It sure did hurt like Hell but a few seconds later it ebbed out into nothingness and he opened his eyes, silently wondering when he had closed them. He was back. His body was back.

Despite his sudden need to jump up and down with happiness Allen grabbed onto a pair of wasabi tubes with an evil grin on his face. _I've just got to try this…_

Evil laughter filled the room.

- o0o -

After several hours of fighting a zombie army Allen and Kanda had finally succeeded in returning everyone to their original age as well as curing the zombie virus, all thanks to a great amount of wasabi, which Allen had discovered cured both the poison and the virus, making their work a lot easier than it could've been.

Nonetheless, saying everyone had been cured wasn't completely true, since the source of the infection, namely Inspector Leverrier, couldn't be cured with wasabi, so Kanda got the genius idea of force-feeding him some of Komui's poisoned candy, and then they locked the preteen zombie-Leverrier in a janitors closed and pretended like it never happened.

Everything returned to normal, almost, but most people were complaining as they had to clean up the mess and Link was desperately searching for his boss, without results.

This didn't matter to Kanda and Allen though, since both of them had collapsed in exhaustion on Kanda's bed, feeling more tired than usual from saving the world…or Headquarters at least.

And for that matter both of them were far too tired to care about the fact that they were sleeping in the same bed, in each other's arms, in the same room, with the door unlocked and with Lavi lurking behind it with what looked very much like a camera. For the moment they didn't care, but supposedly they did care when they woke up the next morning to find lots of photographs of them, in bed, sleeping, together…

Shaking with rage Kanda ripped down one of those accursed photocopies. Allen was watching him, as he swiftly entered his black mode again, pulling out a voodoo doll looking scarily familiar to a certain redhead. Kanda unsheathed Mugen.

"It's payback time."

- o0o -

A few hours later Lavi's screams of agony were finally silenced. The order in the Black Order had finally been restored. Or not.

But at least Kanda and Allen were able to have their revenge and in the end that was all that mattered. To them, at least.

- o0o -


	4. The Oddest Easter Ever

…

- o0o -

**The Oddest Easter Ever**

- o0o -

Because of the chaos that had ensued due to this whole everyone-shrinking-then-turning-into-zombies thing around Christmas, Leverrier had decided (once he had gotten the cure of his temporary youthfulness as well as his zombie-I-want-your-brain-some-ness) to cancel the celebrations of Valentine's Day, which was likely for the better once Komui's evil plot of repeating pretty much the same thing had been uncovered and Komui was currently under strict supervision of Link and Leverrier himself, who had finally concluded that Komui was far more of a danger to the Black Order than Allen would ever be.

So, Valentine's Day was cancelled and Komui's plans had been reduced to nothing.

Still, Easter was just around the corner.

- o0o -

The Millennium Earl had finally recovered from his ordeal with Tyki's culinary wrath and he was once again plotting something sinister for the exorcists.

Oh, and by the way… From now on the word "sushi" was forbidden and Tyki was also forbidden in the kitchen from that point on. No more wasabi terrorism for him.

The Earl got up from his chair and fetched his umbrella before he went out in order to create some more akuma and to get some great inspiration on what painful thing he would let the exorcists, or Tyki for that matter, experience.

"I'm going out to cause humanity some suffering now," he said in a singing voice before shutting the door with a bang behind him.

Tyki looked up from the book he had been reading for a moment before looking down again. Even though the title on the outside cover read _Bloody Valentine_ the text he was reading was from a cookbook specializing in chocolate. The images on the pages were really pretty and tempting as Hell.

He smirked evilly and flipped yet another page. _Soon my love… Soon…_

- o0o -

"Come on, Old Man…" Lavi whined as he carried yet another pile of books in direction of their shared room. "It's Easter for f-ing sake… Give me a break?"

Bookman, who was walking a few feet in front of him with his arms hidden in his wide sleeves, stopped completely and gave him a very unfriendly look.

"You idiot," he said. "Do you remember what happened last time?"

Lavi's smile became a bit strained; he remembered very well the so called Last Time Bookman was speaking of. Lavi honestly couldn't remember ever having gotten that beat up before, by supposed allies of all things…

And, speaking of which, Lavi desperately needed at least one or two allies if he wanted to be able to do something fun this Easter, but since his attempts of persuading Lenalee and Miranda had ended in a failure. Also, neither Crowley nor any other exorcist who was back at the Black Order's Headquarters showed even the slightest interest in his so called plan on getting back at the Roots of All Evil.

No, not the Earl.

This time the Roots of All Evil was referring to Yu and his favorite Moyashi, who since this whole Christmas ordeal seemed more distant to getting to understand each other than ever, even though that was probably just a façade created to fool everyone else about the true nature of their relationship.

Now… Why exactly had Kanda and Allen started looking at Lavi the same way as whenever they caught sight of any of Komui's crazy robotic inventions?

Lavi put down the pile of books on the floor in his shared room before scratching his head a bit.

Supposedly, it had been because Lavi had actually managed to catch them sleeping in the same bed and had taken a picture in order to give the moment eternal life, but on the other hand, they had already taken their vengeance on him last time when beating him to a bloody pulp for the second time during the Christmas period…

Oh, wait… Maybe they were just waiting for round two or something?

He sat down on the floor and opened a random book he had picked from the library and glanced at the first page, blinking a bit. _Wait… This is a fairytale…_

With a sigh he got up with the book in his hand and made his way back to the door.

"I'm going to return this," he said, waving a bit with the book while wearing a bored expression on his usually cheerful face before taking off in direction of the library.

- o0o -

Meanwhile Allen was spending a quiet and relaxing time for the first time in quite a while since he no longer had Link following him around. The white-haired teen sat down in a comfortable chair as he started turning the pages to a book named _Practical Voodoo for Beginners_ with little interest showing on his face as he felt a sudden craving for sweets. He looked up as he heard someone entering the library and he frowned slightly as he, after a brief moment of thinking, was able to determine the possible trespasser's identity.

Sure, Allen was relieved that he had gotten rid of Link as his personal watchdog, but on the other hand Allen was almost a hundred percent positive that he had just gotten another one.

Steps approached him and a hand ripped the book from his grasp and he looked up at the one responsible with a bored and dull expression in his silver-gray eyes.

"Are you reading this crap again?" Kanda asked with a snort.

Allen simply glared at him and his eyes narrowed slightly.

"Are you being a jerk again?" he calmly responded.

Kanda glared down at him.

"Moyashi…" he growled. "Why did you stop visiting me?"

Allen looked up at him before tilting his head to the side, still with a pretty bored expression on his face.

"We've spent enough time together as it is on our missions, so there's no need for us to spend time together on our free time anymore," he said, looking at Kanda's face with clear amusement of the sinister kind as a smirk played on his lips. "After all, you should really be the one to speak about spending time together; you're the guy who refused to shake hands with me at our first encounter, maybe a minute or so after you had practically tried to skewer me with that bloody sword of yours…"

Kanda's expression darkened and his eyes narrowed. Allen's expression went through the same process and his eyes narrowed to slits. Soon they were both involved in a glaring contest which was practically sending sparks around the library.

They stood like that for almost a quarter of an hour and neither of them seemed to be very keen on giving up, but then it was suddenly interrupted as someone waved a book in front of Kanda's face, causing him to flinch a bit from surprise, as he had seemingly been far too absorbed in the staring contest to see it coming.

Allen smirked with triumph. "I won."

Kanda snorted. "The Hell you did."

Lavi put the book back in its place on the shelf with an indifferent expression. "Are you two still fighting about who should be on top?"

Allen and Kanda immediately turned their heads in his direction. At first they almost looked shocked and embarrassed but then, in a split second Kanda had gotten into his demonic killing mode and had unsheathed Mugen and Allen had gone into his Black mode, pulling a voodoo doll from behind his back.

"Care to ask that again?" Kanda asked with an almost triumphant sneer.

Lavi shrieked before taking cover behind a book shelf as Kanda cleaved it in two, sending a flood of books onto the floor.

Then, like a savior or as an angel of death and ultimate misery, Reever Wenham walked past the library, surveyed the mess with a tired expression on his face while scratching his head.

"You know…" he then said after taking a deep breath. "You'll all have to clean this mess up…"

All combatants immediately froze in their positions as they stared disbelievingly at the man and then at the mess they had made. "You can't be serious…"

- o0o -

Allen, Lavi and Kanda stared with wide eyes at the great mess they had done, making the library look a lot like Supervisor Komui's office, except maybe three times worse. Then they turned towards each other, or rather, Kanda and Allen turned towards Lavi giving him a pair of truly unfriendly glares saying "this is your fault and you will pay dearly for this later."

Lavi gulped slightly and backed against a still standing bookshelf, the impact causing the shelf to collapse onto another and thereby causing a great domino effect which caused almost all bookshelves to fall over and to flood the floor with perhaps a thousand books or so.

Kanda's eyes narrowed and he used his thumb to make a throat cutting motion while looking in Lavi's direction.

Lavi's expression gradually started changing, going from slightly terrified to thoughtful and then finally it completely transformed as a grin appeared on his face, to Kanda and Allen's apparent dismay.

"I still have those negatives you know…" Lavi almost soundlessly mouthed out and truly enjoyed seeing the others markedly stiffen.

Ah, those negatives. They were far too good to get rid of. After all, if he hadn't had them in his possession, how would he be able to blackmail them so efficiently?

Lavi's grin widened and he put up his index finger as the others followed his every move with wary expressions on their faces.

"Let's make a deal, shall we?" he said in a sugar-coated tone. "I have a total of… six negatives hidden in an undisclosed location within Headquarters… So, if you two were to clean up this mess while listening to my stories I'll give you a clue on where the negatives are. For every finished story I tell you while you're working to clean this mess up, you get one clue. Okay?"

Allen and Kanda looked at each other while they were carefully considering their options.

One, they could kill Lavi off and face their punishment.

Two, they could kill Lavi off in what looked like an unfortunate accident and possibly escape punishment.

Three, they could beat Lavi with a book in the head until he lost his memory… or his life.

Four, they do like Cross usually did and disappear off the map by faking their own deaths.

Five, they could actually give in to Lavi's blackmail, do the work, get the negatives and then make Lavi pay.

Six, they could try out voodoo.

One would be considered reasonable, two would be reasonable as well, three would also be reasonable, four was a bit extreme, five was out of the question and six would be a disaster.

"Fine…" Allen said after a while and looked questioningly at Kanda. "Alternative five?"

Kanda tilted his head to the side.

"What's wrong with alternative one, two and three?" he asked.

Allen's eyes narrowed. "Reever knows we're here and what we did. If we chose those alternatives we have to kill him off."

Kanda tilted his head to the other side.

"Why can't we just repeat the process with him?" he asked.

Allen raised an eyebrow. "You can't solve everything with violence, BaKanda."

Kanda snorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"It has never been a problem before," he said with a shrug.

Allen sighed. "Alternative five?"

"Fine."

Lavi picked up a random book from the floor and opened it with a smirk on his face as he started reading out loud. "Once upon a time… far far away in a prosperous kingdom, there was a king and a queen. They gave birth to a son with beautiful white hair and sparkling silver-gray eyes…"

Allen and Kanda exchanged a look; this wasn't the story they knew of.

"…And so a grand party was arranged to celebrate this particular event and they invited nobles from all the neighboring countries. Among the ones who came was a raven-haired prince from a faraway country who looked pretty girly…" Lavi continued.

Kanda's eyebrow twitched while Allen snickered as they continued picking books off the floor.

"…The king and queen had also invited three fairies as godmothers to the boy and the fairies offered him beauty, wit and musical talent. However, since they had failed to invite the great sorcerer Cross Marian, the man himself kind of decided to drop by anyway in order to lay a curse on the infant…"

Allen instantly froze in his movements at the mention of Cross.

"When Allen turns fifteen he will stick his finger into the cookie jar, eat a cookie and die," Lavi said in a dramatic voice before adding: "Just kidding. When Allen turns fifteen he will be bitten by a snake and die."

Allen and Kanda exchanged another look.

"The good fairy then promised that if such a thing would come to occur, the prince would instead sleep for a hundred years, only to awaken by the kiss of a prince." Lavi continued. "Hearing this, the king instantly banned cookies and snakes from the kingdom."

_Now that's a bit extreme…_

"But it was all in vain, for on his fifteenth's birthday Prince Allen was offered a chocolate cookie from Miranda Lotto, one who was completely unaware of the ban and soon after that he was bitten by a snake."

_And that was overkill…_

Lavi made a dramatic gesture. "The evil prophecy was fulfilled, but not completely since Prince Allen didn't die and didn't sleep much either… Oh wait…My bad. He did die and sleep, mostly during daytime in a coffin that he had bought from a crazy scientist/undertaker by the name of Komui Lee…However; people soon grew fearful of the white-haired prince, since he was seemingly out for their blood… So they all abandoned the castle, which was soon surrounded by briars since Allen sought to be left alone from all the vampire hunters that had been stalking him lately…"

Allen didn't look amused. Kanda certainly was but he was wearing his poker face again.

"Then, after maybe a year of boredom had passed, Prince Kanda had enough and became a vampire hunter and went to slay the vampire prince." Lavi continued. "He arrived at the castle, burned down the thorny wood surrounding it, ventured inside it and went straight towards the highest room in the tallest tower, where it had seemed logical for him to find something, but in the end, it was entirely filled with bills…"

Allen looked like he was reliving his traumatic childhood again while Kanda looked slightly suspicious.

"So Prince Kanda changed his plan, went back downwards again and now charged into the lowest room deepest down in the basement with his trusted sword Mugen in hand only to lay eyes upon the prettiest corpse he had ever seen…"

Kanda's eyebrow twitched slightly and he turned his head a bit, glancing at Allen for a bit.

"Against better judgment he walked up to the sleeping undead and bent down, as if to kiss him, only to awaken the vampire sleeping in the open coffin who looked at him with a tired look on his face, telling Prince Kanda to come back again in five minutes…" Lavi said. "However, Prince Kanda now had other things in mind and he and Allen then fell in love for no apparent reason, supposedly lived happily ever after and did a number of things which would turn this fic into an M-rating in case I revealed it. The end."

Lavi slammed the book closed; looking at his bored and slightly confused audience, feeling a bit relieved that they didn't appear to be targeting his life anymore. Then he smirked.

Kanda looked up, seemingly too tired with both carrying books and listening to Lavi to be in his killing mood.

"The clue?" he asked with a hint of boredom in his voice.

Lavi smirked and tilted his head to the side as he raised his index finger. "It is like a wolf in sheep's clothing."

Kanda raised an eyebrow.

Allen was still secretly trying to find his voodoo doll.

- o0o -

Meanwhile, elsewhere and on a completely unrelated note, the Earl was walking outside on the street, as if he was looking for his next victim when a sobbing child ran right into him, almost knocking him over. The child looked up at him with teary eyes and said: "My parents told me Santa isn't real… But that's not true, is it Easter Bunny?"

The Earl's eyebrow twitched and he felt an undeniable need to kill somebody as the kid's words echoed in his head. _Easter Bunny, Easter Bunny, Easter Bunny._

Oh well, at least it was way better than Mary Poppins, which was the newest nickname given to him by Cross Marian for his flying with the umbrella.

Clenching his fists, the Earl counted to ten in order to calm himself. _I'm so destroying the world once Easter has ended…_

He looked down at the kid, which was still standing there staring up at him with innocent eyes. Eyes that seemed too familiar to him, eyes that he hated so much since they awaked unneeded feelings of sympathy for a humanity that was since long a doomed race… They were like the eyes of a puppy, like the eyes of Allen Walker. The Earl knew well that he should've killed the boy back then when he had the chance, but it was already too late for that now. He looked back down at the kid, reached inside his pocket and pulled out some caramels, dropping them onto the kid's head.

"There," he said. "Candy. Now leave me alone. Easter Bunny is busy at this time of a year…"

The child stopped crying, gave him a big smile and ran off with the candy and his wallet. The Earl ran after him.

"Come back here you stupid thief!" he shouted. "Come back here so I can rip out your spine!"

The child stuck out his tongue at him before he continued running.

"You're not Easter Bunny!" he shouted. "You're just a Monster Rabbit!"

The Earl took out his umbrella and continued chasing the thief down the street, screaming bloody murder.

- o0o -

And now, back to the plot. (Wait… there's a plot?)

- o0o -

The sun was already starting to set when Lavi flipped open the book with a smirk on his face.

Allen was tired. Very tired, both mentally and physically.

He didn't even care about the negatives anymore, he just wanted to get out of there, he didn't want to hear another story, he couldn't take another story, he was hungry, he was tired, he was feeling depressed, he still hadn't found his voodoo doll…

He wanted to sleep, there was nothing to deny there…

He wanted to go to his own room. He wanted to throw himself onto the bed and fall asleep instantly, even though he knew that he couldn't.

On the other hand, as long as he was allowed to sleep it didn't matter to him whose bed he would sleep in. Screw that, he would even sleep in a coffin if he were able to…

Allen blinked. _So that's it? Would it work?_

"**Sure it would. I guarantee the effect."**

_Great, just great. The Voice is back._

"**Hey, what's up with that attitude? Have I ever done anything to you?"**

_Besides making me doubt my own sanity?_

"**Okay. Fine. But I have never done anything bad to you."**

_That is a bad thing._

"**Right, right. Now that doesn't matter. Just do the thing already so that we both can get out of this mess."**

_Fine…_

Allen took a deep breath before closing his eyes, letting his body fall limp and send him falling towards the floor, but not for long since soon enough a pair of strong arms wrapped around him, breaking his fall before carefully lowering him to the floor.

"Damn you Moyashi, abandoning me at a time like this…"

Now Allen really had to put an effort into not smiling, since smiling could be used as proof that he was still in a state of awareness.

Lavi tilted his head to the side. "Try tickling him."

_What?_

"**That's cheating… But I honestly didn't count on that…"**

_You didn't?_

"**1-0 to Lavi I guess. I suppose you'll just have to live through it all. But I have stuff to do, so I'll see you later."**

_No… Come back here; don't let me go through this alone! At least tell me where the voodoo doll is?_

"**Nah… I wouldn't want to screw with your mind any more than I have to. Bye, bye."**

_I hate you!_

And so they stayed up suffering through another story until somewhere around midnight when Lavi finally slammed the book shut and said he had to get back to Bookman's place. Kanda and Allen meanwhile gave each other a weary look.

"Should we get back to our rooms and sleep or should we try to clean up this mess now when Lavi isn't here so we won't have to listen to another one of those retarded fairytales?" Kanda asked after a while.

Allen yawned.

"I'll try, but I can't promise much," he said. "Now, if I could only find that voodoo doll then we could just simply curse Lavi instead…"

Kanda snorted a bit.

"By the way…" he said. "That fainting thing of yours was really lame. Don't you have any pride?"

"Shut up," Allen said as he made his way towards the chair, picking up the book that Lavi had been reading earlier. "Do you think we could maybe just throw this out of the window or into a fireplace or something like that?"

Kanda shrugged his shoulders. "Probably."

In an act of sheer boredom Allen flipped the book open.

"Snow White?" he said, before reading a few words and tilting his head to the side. "On crack…"

Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"Shirayukihime?" he said. "Let me see."

Allen handed it to him and he looked at it, a frown appearing on his face as he did so.

"Definitely crack," he said. "I wonder what kind of sick and deranged person wrote this in the first place…"

Then suddenly the clock struck midnight and the book started glowing with a bright light and when the light had disappeared so had the two exorcists previously present in the room.

Lavi looked up as there was a sudden and unexplainable bright light coming from the library. Then it disappeared and he peeked around the corner, just in time for him to see as a book coming crashing down onto the floor with a heavy thud. He picked it up, flipped it open and started reading as an amused smirk was soon formed upon his lips.

_This is just too good to be true…_

- o0o -

Lavi started reading the story with apparent glee as he could pretty much guess what had happened to Kanda and Allen, and was enjoying every minute of it.

"Once upon a time, there was a queen who was sewing by the window. She pricked her finger on the needle and died… Just kidding… Oh… As it appears she did actually die… Now that's a bit weird…" Lavi raised an eyebrow as the text on the page was slightly altered. "Anyways… this queen had a son with skin as white as snow, hair as black as ebony and lips as red as blood… Since they were actually covered in blood since this particular son was on a strict diet… of blood. Anyways, the reason for his paleness was because he never ventured in the sun since it would likely burn him to cinders and so on, but that was life for our infamous prince Kanda Yu …"

Lavi smirked.

_Whoever wrote this thing from the start clearly had a thing for vampires…_

"Oh well, no matter…" he said after a while. "Soon enough the king got a bit lonely, so he remarried with Road Camelot, a beautiful but also a very vain queen, who was in possession of a magical mirror that could answer any question, and also air any TV program you just happened to miss, but Road had no use for that since she already had her new computer, so instead she asked the mirror, which she had dubbed Lenalee just for fun, a single question over and over again…"

- o0o -

**Road skipped up to the mirror.**

"**Mirror mirror on the wall…" she said. "Who in the land is cutest of them all?"**

- o0o -

"And the mirror always answered…"

- o0o -

**Lenalee looked really bored from inside the mirror, twirling lock of hair around her finger before curtseying.**

"**You, my queen, are the cutest of them all…"**

- o0o -

"But that was no real surprise, since Road was revered as the cutest queen in the world, seeing that she pretty much didn't look any older than twelve or so… and a lot of people suggested that the king had some sort of Lolita complex, but in the end that was irrelevant in all of this…" Lavi said. "So… back to queen Road and her fascination with the mirror…"

He scratched his head.

"One day queen Road decided to ask a different question…"

- o0o -

"**Mirror mirror on the wall, say who is the fairest of them all?"**

- o0o -

"And so a beautiful Asian girl with long black hair and violet eyes appeared in the mirror, looking back at her with a smile." Lavi read. "I am, she said."

Then he tilted his head to the side.

"Road smiled sweetly at her while reaching for the mallet she had gotten as a present from her dear uncle Cross…" he continued. "A few moments later the mirror was cracked and the image of the girl inside of it was trembling at the sight of a terrifying Road with a mallet in hand…"

- o0o -

"**Let's do this one more time…" Road said with a tone of determination. "Mirror mirror on the wall, say who is the fairest of them all?"**

**Lenalee, standing in the magical mirror, rolled her eyes and sighed.**

"**Do you want the truth?" She asked.**

**Road tilted her head to the side.**

"**I want the truth," she said.**

**Lenalee looked a bit suspicious.** "**Promise there won't be any consequences?"**

"**Dear Lenalee…" Road said, smiling sweetly at her. "There are always consequences…"**

**Lenalee seemed slightly hesitant at first, but then she simply sighed, resigning to Road's will.**

"**Fine, Snow White is the fairest of them all," she yielded. "Please don't ask anymore."**

**Road looked up, her eyes narrowing.**

"**Just one more thing…" she said in a low and almost threatening voice. "Where do I find this Snow White chick?"**

**Lenalee rolled her eyes.** "**Snow White lives in the Forbidden Woods."**

"**Excellent," Road said as an evil giggle arose from her throat. "I'll send one of my assassins there at once."**

- o0o -

"In the forbidden woods there was a beautiful person named Allen Walker, who was always on the lookout and at risk of being found by his old master's debt collectors…" Lavi read. "However, the main reason as to why he was hiding in the woods was that he had accidentally wandered inside and due to his crappy sense of direction he hadn't found his way out after that. Fortunately for him though, he was found by Lavi, who was a part of the sect of Seven Dwarves, who took pity on him and told him that he could stay at the Seven Dwarves' cottage as long as he liked but only if he cleaned, cooked, made beds, washed, sewed, knitted and so on for seven people. Now that was some slave work… but Allen had experienced far worse while he was still staying with his old master Cross Marian…"

He raised an eyebrow. _I'm actually in this? And as one of the seven dwarves…_

"Besides Lavi the members of Seven Dwarves were Reever, Johnny, Daisya, Marie, Jerry and Komui, who had all decided on living together like this for different reasons. Allen didn't care what they were. But one thing he did care about was the fact that everyone around here were referring to him as Snow White for no apparent reason. Lavi had explained it like this…"

- o0o -

"**Your hair is as white as snow and your pale face matches it pretty well. That's why you're Snow White…"**

- o0o -

"In Allen's appearance everything was either white, like his hair, or silver, as his eyes, except for a thin red scar across his face, which partly marred his great beauty but also made it much rarer."

- o0o -

"**Come on now Snowy…" Lavi said. "Wash the dishes."**

- o0o -

"The queen wanted to assassinate Snow White, so she contacted her dear stepson Kanda Yu, who actually seemed quite keen on the idea of hunting Snow White down and bringing her heart back to the queen as evidence of the deed… even though Kanda Yu himself was far keener on eating it. Anyways, he still needed to find her first… So the same evening he took off into the forbidden woods in search of his prey…"

_Just who the Hell wrote this?_

"Meanwhile, Allen had finished with the dishes and went out picking potentially dangerous mushrooms to put in the soup with which he intended to give the Seven Dwarves a slow and agonizing death so that he would finally be able to have the cottage for himself… but he didn't actually get to that part since he encountered a vampire in the woods…"

- o0o -

**Allen looked at the raven-haired stranger.**

"**Why do you have such long hair?" he asked.**

**The raven-haired stranger glared at him.** "**Because my mother always wanted a girl."**

**Allen tilted his head to the side.**

"**Why are you so pale?" he asked.**

**The raven-haired stranger continued glaring at him.** "**Because I hate the sun."**

**Allen tilted his head to the other side.**

"**Why are your canine teeth so sharp?" he asked.**

**The raven-haired stranger smirked.** "**So that I can drink your blood."**

**Allen's facial expression didn't change, but he picked up his basket and was about to start heading home.**

"**Save this for later," he said. "I have dinner to cook and seven dwarves to poison… I mean feed."**

**The vampire said nothing, simply observing him in silence.**

"**You can come along if you like…" Allen said. "Unless you have a phobia for hippies."**

- o0o -

**Meanwhile Road had been trailing back and forth in her castle, as Kanda had yet to return.**

"**It seems like Kanda-kun didn't go along with the plan…" Lenalee said as Road had passed by the mirror for the 40th time already.**

"**Shut up," Road said while biting her nails. "It would seem as though… if you want to get something done, you'll just have to do it yourself."**

**Then Road grabbed onto an apple before she left the room.**

"**Have a nice trip," Lenalee said, waving her off.**

- o0o -

Lavi yawned and looked at the clock.

It already was half past two in the morning.

He yawned again, rubbing his eyes briefly before looking back down again with that same smirk still on his face. _I can stay around for a little longer…_

He flipped a page and continued reading.

- o0o -

**Road knocked on the door to the slightly run down two story house which had appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the woods. She had cleverly disguised herself, as a fortune-teller since she ran out of ideas. Indeed she had truly wanted to go as a witch, but somehow a fortune-teller seemed less evil than a witch. It had to be one of those image things, one of those things that she would be putting an end to as soon as she had assassinated her husband. **

**Wait. Just where the Hell had that thought come from? **

**Regardless, she was cleverly disguised and her identity would remain a secret, even after she, by herself, succeeded in assassinating Snow White since her incompetent vampire stepson wasn't able to.**

**She frowned lightly.** _**Nobody's answering…**_

**Road knocked again, harder and longer until she finally heard steps approaching the door. The door opened for a bit and a white-haired teen peered out at her with a clearly suspicious expression on his face.**

"**I have an apple for Snow White here," she said, presenting the apple to him. "Please let me in."**

**He tilted his head to the side, looking everywhere else but at her. She waved her hand in front of him.** "**Hello?"**

**He finally looked up at her, giving her an innocent smile which nearly melted her heart.**

"**Hi," he said, still looking very innocent before swiftly adding "I'm not planning on murdering anybody."**

**Road blinked.** "**What?"**

**Then she tilted her head to the side, once again offering the apple.**

"**Anyways, can you give this apple to Snow White?" she said.**

**He looked up at her again.**

"**Is it poisoned?" he asked.**

**Road's eyes narrowed.**

"**Yes," she said. "How could you tell?"**

"**Doesn't matter," he said, swiftly grabbing onto the apple and snatching it from Road's grasp before holding it up and closely inspecting it with a bored expression on his face. "I can add it to the soup."**

**Road's eyebrow twitched.**

"**But I asked you to give it to Snow White?" she said in a low threatening voice.**

**He looked up at her, or rather down at her since he was a bit taller and tilted his head to the side, looking at her with a pair of bored silver-gray eyes.**

"**I am Snow White," he said.**

"**Snow White's a guy?" Road said in clear disbelief.**

**He smiled at the sight of her shock, gently grabbing onto her hand and shaking it.**

"**My real name is Allen. Allen Walker," he said. "Snow White is only an annoying nickname Lavi gave me."**

**Road immediately got up on her toes, trying to snatch back the apple from his hand, but she still couldn't quite reach it.**

"**But I don't want to kill you," she said, slight desperation sneaking into her voice. "You're too good-looking to die."**

**Allen kept his hold on the apple, still with a quite bored expression on his face.**

"**The compliment is appreciated," he said flatly before turning around. "Now I must go back to poisoning… I mean cooking."**

**Suddenly Road felt a desperate and unexplainable need to grab onto Allen's shirt to stop him from leaving.**

"**Wait!" she shouted. "Will you please marry me? Allen?"**

**Allen still remained unfazed, as if it was a very usual thing for him to have a person desperately clinging to the back of his shirt and he continued walking, apple in hand, as he made his way in direction of the kitchen.**

"**I'd rather choke on this apple and die I think…" he mumbled before stopping briefly, turning around and looking at her with a sudden interest. "But that depends. Are you rich?"**

**Road also stopped and loosened her grip a little.**

"**I'm the queen of this land," she said. "I have lots of money. You can get half the kingdom."**

**Allen stopped walking a second time and tilted his head to the side.**

"**Half the kingdom?" he said, sounding a bit disbelieving. "That's really generous. Why would you give me such an offer?"**

**Before Road was able to answer she was rudely interrupted.**

"**Hands off my prey, old crone," Kanda hissed as he emerged from the kitchen. "Moyashi is mine for the taking."**

"**Moyashi?"**

**Allen sighed.** "**Not another nickname…"**

- o0o -

"And then, all of a sudden the Seven Dwarves emerged out of nowhere, demanding to be fed and Allen smacked an apple right into Lavi's forehead. And then Allen or Snow White or whatever you like, announced a contest, saying that he didn't mind killing… sorry, I meant marrying whoever killed the Seven Dwarves. As it appeared both Prince Kanda and his stepmother Road Camelot was up to the task, the Seven Dwarves were slain." Lavi read as a sweat drop ran down his face. "Regardless of who actually won they went to assassinate the king and put Allen in his place and supposedly lived happily ever after. The end."

Lavi tilted his head to the side, his eyebrow twitching violently. _Whoever wrote this thing is one Hell of a twisted person with a very sick sense of humor…_

He let his fingers linger at the last page, filled with an illustration of the ending, which in the end had been a very bloody history. Then, suddenly he felt a burning sensation in his fingertips and the book lit up with a radiant glow, much like the one he had seen earlier. "Holy crap!"

Then he was also gone and the book fell onto the floor, slamming shut once more. The library instantly grew eerily silent before footsteps were once again heard in the corridor outside.

A newly awoken Supervisor Komui stuck his head into the library while rubbing his eyes. "Hello?"

- o0o -

Komui rubbed his tired eyes, spotting an interesting book lying on the floor. Without much thought he picked it up, sat himself down into a comfortable chair and flipped it open on a random page and started reading.

"Once upon a time there was a little girl… I mean boy…. who had flaming red hair." he read, raising an eyebrow as he did so. "But everyone who lived in the village thought that it was a wig, so they called him Little Red Riding Wig, even though his real name was Lavi."

Now that was certainly interesting.

Komui flipped to the next page and continued reading.

"Anyways…" he read. "One day little Lavi's mother asked him to go and feed the old panda named Bookman which lived in a cave deep inside the woods, so that the panda wouldn't try to eat villagers again. It was a truly dangerous mission, but Lavi was oblivious to this as he strolled off on the road while his mother waved him off, thinking that certain sacrifices needed to be made… but not really, since she never wanted any children to begin with."

Yawning slightly Komui peaked at the clock. It was late, but he could still dally around a bit more, at least until Reever or someone else from the science division stumbled upon him and dragged him back to his office in order to make him finish loads of paperwork. Nonetheless, it wasn't a very tempting thought, so Komui decided that he might as well enjoy reading when he had the chance to.

"Lavi strolled into the woods, keeping himself on the road as he had been told, but soon he saw a couple of interesting books lying scattered on the forest floor and he went to pick them up. But as he was about to reach down for them a black wolf appeared in front of him, looking at him with a pair of yellow, almost golden eyes…"

- o0o -

"**Those books are mine," the wolf said. "But you can have them if you can tell me where I can find a panda."**

**Lavi blinked before grinning widely.**

"**I'm going to the old panda's place with some food," he answered. "Do you want me to lead the way?"**

"**Go ahead," the wolf said. "You can have the books if you like."**

**Lavi's grin widened and he joyfully picked up the books as he knew very well that they were excellent fuel for fire.**

- o0o -

Komui flipped another page.

"And so Lavi and the wolf, which was named Tyki Mikk, went to Bookman's cave." he read. "But the Panda had been expecting them and was in a really bad mood, so he tried eating them whole and when that failed he intended on chewing on their bones since he had run out of bamboo pretty recently, but before he had been able to do this in reality there was a loud banging on the cave wall…"

He adjusted his glasses before he continued reading. "The one who was supposedly trying to knock on the door was a hunter named Kanda who just happened to appear at the decisive moment, but as it appeared he didn't intend on helping them at all since he was there on other business…"

- o0o -

"**Did any of you people by any chance happen to see a Moyashi run by or so?" the hunter asked.**

"**What the Hell is a Moyashi?" Lavi asked while fighting against a furious panda.**

"**Not really," Tyki answered, but upon seeing the very grim look which appeared on Kanda's face he suddenly changed his mind. "Yes we did, he went that way."**

"**Sorry for interrupting then," Kanda said, giving them a polite nod before making his exit, leaving two very unfortunate people to their fates with somewhat of a smirk on his face. "Bye bye."**

- o0o -

"And so Lavi and the wolf were both eaten by a hungry panda while Kanda went on hunting after his dear Moyashi. The end." Komui said, slamming the book shut before turning his head a bit. "Did you enjoy that story, Bookman?"

Bookman emerged from the shadows.

"It sounds like one of those things my stupid apprentice would make up." he said. "By the way, have you seen him?"

Komui shook his head.

"Nope." he said, flipping the book open once more with an almost eager look on his face. "Let's do Cinderella next."

- o0o -

"I've heard that one many times already, Brother." Lenalee interrupted as she entered the room in a nightgown. "Pick something else."

"The Little Mermaid?" Komui asked with an innocent look on his face.

Lenalee's facial expression darkened. "No."

Komui tilted his head to the side while Bookman remained silent. "Why not?"

Lenalee slammed her fist into a nearby wall.

"Because I have heard it like fifty times already in all available versions and numerous others and I'm so tired of it I kinda want to rip that book out of your hands and throw it into the fire." she said within a single breath, leaving both Bookman and her brother astonished.

A bead of sweat ran down Komui's face as he watched how a part of the wall started cracking up and a few pieces of it fell down to the floor.

While Komui was figuring out the next thing to say, Bookman made a mental note that he would have to include Lenalee's astonishing ability to pull a punch in his records.

"A bit rash I think since we still don't know where Lavi, Allen and Kanda ran off to…"

Lenalee blinked, her violet eyes growing wide.

"Allen's missing?" she shouted out loud, before covering her mouth with an almost terrified expression on her face.

"You only noticed that now?" Bookman asked, all while Komui's brain started working out plans on making Allen disappear permanently if he ever reappeared before them.

Komui tried to keep looking innocent as Lenalee glared at him.

"How about Hansel and Gretel then?" he asked.

Lenalee stepped forward, snatching the book from his hands and flipping it back open.

"Fine…" she said, sighing as she readapted her innocent and cute personality. "But I'm reading…"

Komui and Bookman exchanged a look before seating themselves.

"Once upon a time there were two children…" Lenalee read. "No wait, actually they were a pair of teenagers named Allen and Kanda. Their parents were really poor, or just overly neglecting and so one day they decided to get rid of Kanda and Allen once and for all because of Allen's rather extreme appetite…"

She giggled for a moment before continuing to read. "However, since Kanda was a really quiet guy he just happened to be standing in the same room, listening in on their entire conversation…"

- o0o -

**Kanda's eyebrow twitched at the expressions of surprise that were on his parents' faces.**

"**You honestly didn't notice I was standing here the whole time?" he hissed. "What kind of idiot parents are you?"**

- o0o -

"And so one day Kanda and Allen went out into the woods…"

- o0o -

**Kanda stopped walking, turning around to face his younger brother.**

"**We need to make a plan," he said. "It's either them or us."**

**Allen didn't say anything, simply looking innocently at him as Kanda continued talking.**

"**I have Mugen but you have nothing. Let's go into the woods to find you a weapon, shall we?"**

"**Kanda…" Allen said as Kanda had started walking deeper into the woods. "I have a question."**

**Kanda turned around.**

"**What is it?" he asked.**

**Allen looked at him, shedding a part of his innocent façade as his facial expression darkened.** "**Are you cooperating with our parents and trying to lose me in the woods so that you can go back home and live happily ever after?"**

**Kanda's eyebrow twitched.**

"**No, I was rather thinking about finding you a potential murder weapon so that we can go home and slay our parents and then resort to cannibalism," he answered.**

**Allen blinked.** "**Cannibalism?"**

"**Yeah, cannibalism," Kanda said. "I haven't tasted meat in ages."**

**Allen looked a bit guilty.** "**Sorry. I ate it all."**

**Kanda turned around again, placing a hand onto his shoulder.** "**Moyashi."**

**Allen looked up at him.**

"**What is it BaKanda?" he sneered.**

"**I'm gonna have a look around that cave over there so stay put."**

**Allen blinked.** "**What cave?"**

**Kanda pointed it out.**

"**Over there," he said, sounding fairly annoyed. "You see it?"**

"**Oh, that one," Allen said after a while. "But why would I have to stay put?"**

**Kanda sighed, now sounding more annoyed.**

"**Do the words 'No sense of direction whatsoever' say anything to you?" he asked.**

**Allen tilted his head to the side.**

"**Right…" he said. "Just come back soon, okay?"**

**Kanda didn't reply as he immediately made his way further into the woods, disappearing out of sight. **

**Allen sighed, sitting down on the ground as he started drawing mysterious patterns into the dirt on the ground.**

"**Nice evening isn't it?" a voice suddenly said from above.**

**Allen looked up, locking eyes with a golden-eyed stranger.**

- o0o -

"Meanwhile, Kanda was facing a serious dilemma…"

- o0o -

**Kanda tilted his head to the side as he started thinking.** _**I could always go to town, cut off my hair and sell it to some rich guy…**_

**But on the other hand, it would definitely take ages to get it back to that length and if Kanda necessarily did have to die from starvation he would definitely prefer it if his corpse did not have a terrible haircut.**

**Or, he could do as Allen said he would, lose Allen in the woods, return home and live happily ever after, but as a matter of fact, he hated his family and wanted nothing more than to kill them in their sleep.**

**Allen on the other hand was an exception. Sure, his appetite was a bother sometimes, but in the end it was one of his charming points. **

**Picking up a bone of what had supposedly been a part of a deer or something, Kanda smirked with a clear sense of arrogance as he straightened up and turned around to go back.**

- o0o -

**"…"**

**"…"**

**Allen stood silent, facing the stranger. After a while he felt a need to break the silence.**

"**My brother said I shouldn't talk to strangers," he said.**

"**Who's the stranger?" the man asked with a snicker.**

"**You are," Allen said.**

**The stranger blinked and pointed to himself.** "**But I'm Tyki Mikk."**

**Both fell silent again.**

"**Then, Mister Tyki Mikk…" Allen said after a while. "Why are you here?"**

"**I'm taking a walk, what else?" Tyki Mikk said while shrugging his shoulders.**

**Allen's eyebrow twitched.**

"**It's in the middle of the woods," he said in a disbelieving tone.**

**Tyki bent down, smirking.**

"**I could ask you the same, my white-haired little friend," he said.**

**Allen blinked.** "**White-haired little friend?"**

**Tyki laid a hand on top of his head, causing him to startle.**

"**You… look really pale," he said. "Are you alright?"**

**Allen swatted his hand away.**

"**I'm fine," he said. "My only concern is that my impoverished parents are trying to lead me and my brother into the woods and leave us both to our imminent death while we're planning on finding some weapons so that we can go home, slay our parents and eat them."**

**Tyki tilted his head to the side.**

"**Why didn't your parents just try to sell you into slavery then?" he asked. "You look like a pretty little boy…"**

**Silence fell again and Allen felt a chill run down his spine. There was definitely something creepy about the man. In the end, it wasn't Allen's voice that interrupted the silence, but the upset growl of his empty stomach.**

**Tyki's smirk widened.**

"**You hungry?" he asked.**

**Allen nodded.**

**Tyki's smirk widened even more as he pulled something out of his pocket.**

"**I'll give you a chocolate bar if you come with me," he said.**

**Allen frowned.** "**But Kanda told me to stay put..."**

"**Chocolate bar..." Tyki tempted, waving said chocolate bar in front of said famished white-haired teen.**

**As Kanda returned to the place where he had left Allen said white-haired teen was nowhere to be found.**

"…**Why doesn't he ever listen to me?" Kanda asked no one in particular. "Oh well… I might as well track him down… I've got nothing better to do…"**

- o0o -

Lenalee frowned at the story.

"**This** is Hansel and Gretel?" she asked. "WTF?"

Even so, they continued reading.

- o0o -

**After a possibly an hour's wandering Allen's stomach roared again, claiming that the chocolate bar he had received earlier was nowhere near enough, and Allen looked up at the stranger, or Tyki Mikk as he wanted to be called, who still seemed to be oblivious to Allen's concerns.**

"**Mister Tyki Mikk…" Allen said after a while. "Are we lost?"**

**Tyki snickered.**

"**Not really…" he said with a smirk on his face. "It is just that the place we're trying to find is one you either have to know where it is in advance or simply find it by stumbling upon it…"**

**Allen's eyes narrowed suspiciously.**

"**What exactly are we looking for anyway?" he asked.**

**Tyki raised his index finger and his smirk widened.** "**We're looking for the ultra mega gingerbread castle which is supposed to be somewhere around here…"**

**Allen immediately looked more interested.**

"**Ultra mega gingerbread castle?" he said. "I've never heard of it."**

**Tyki gave him a light pat on the shoulder.**

"**I honestly can't blame you for that…" he said. "Up until a while ago I believed it was merely a sugar-coated cottage in the middle of the woods, but apparently the architect responsible for it was offered to remake it into a castle instead."**

**Allen tilted his head to the side.**

"**But why gingerbread?" he asked. "Why not chocolate?"**

**Tyki tilted his own head to the side.** "**Because a chocolate castle would melt…"**

"**Oh… Is that so?"**

"**Nonetheless…" Tyki said. "I heard someone actually tried it, but if I may say it myself, it didn't exactly turn out great…"**

- o0o -

**Meanwhile Kanda were also wandering around seemingly aimlessly in the woods, trying to find Allen, but with no such luck. **

**Then, all of a sudden he accidentally stumbled upon a tree root; fell down a hill and right into a river. Cursing his lack of luck Kanda stood up, dripping of water, he spotted a very unusual building in the castle, namely a castle seemingly made entirely out of candy.**

**His eyebrow twitched at the sight of it.** _**I hate sweet things.**_

**Meanwhile, one of the castle's inhabitants, namely the two mischievous princes Jasdero and Devitto, were on the verge of getting bored out of their skulls.**

"**Hey look…" Jasdero said as he spotted how two more figures appeared out the woods. "We seem to have some company."**

**Devitto giggled, pulling out his gun.** "**It's time for a game…"**

- o0o -

Lenalee tilted her head to the side. "Is this going to go on forever?"

- o0o -

**And so, the dreaded adventure continued as the two mischievous princes Jasdero and Devitto went to prepare for the arrival of their latest guests, the currently oblivious Tyki and Allen, who had by then reached the doorbell.**

**The doors swung open, seemingly on their own accord.**

**A pair of silver-gray eyes blinked with surprise.** "**They opened."**

"**Looks like it. Want to check it out?"**

"**Oookay."**

**They entered and found themselves standing in a surprisingly normal hallway, as normal as a hallway can be in a castle made out of gingerbread. Walking off in a random direction they suddenly caught sight of an oil lamp on top of a lit up pedestal. They approached it warily in order to read the note which was seemingly attached to it.**

"**Twenty million pounds?" Tyki exclaimed as he snatched it up. "Freaking unbelievable! I've just got to have it!"**

**Allen raised an eyebrow, giving him a questioning look.** "**I thought you were looking for the ultra mega gingerbread castle and not some dirty old lamp…"**

**Tyki returned the look.** "**I was looking for it, but now that I've found it I thought I might as well go ahead and raid it while I'm here."**

**Allen frowned.** "**You're a bandit?"**

"**So what?" Tyki questioned, seemingly unconcerned. "I'm a burglar, an explorer, an assassin, a noble… I can be anything I want to be."**

**The surprise was apparent in the white-haired teen's eyes as he looked up at Tyki.**

"**You're an assassin?" he breathed somewhat excitedly. "That means you kill people for money."**

**Tyki raised an eyebrow at the very odd reaction, certainly not the kind he had been expecting. Then he snickered as an idea slowly started to form inside his head.**

"**Sure, I'll kill for payment, but not necessarily money…" he said, bending down and cupping the white-haired teen's cheek with gentle hands. "But then again… what do you have to offer me, Boy?"**

**Innocent silver-gray eyes peered up at him and his smirk grew wider as he bent down further in an attempt to capture the other's virgin lips, but he never had the opportunity to, as he was whacked at the back of the head with the blunt end of a sword.**

"**Moyashi!" Kanda shouted, obviously enraged with Mugen at hand. "How many times do I have to tell you not to talk to strangers?"**

**Allen, still seemingly innocent, smiled sheepishly up at him.**

"**Once more after this?" he asked, earning himself a nudge on the head.**

**Kanda scowled at him, his expression stern, but then it softened and Allen was pulled into a hug.** "**Don't worry me like that you moron."**

- o0o -

Lenalee slammed the book shut.

"Who wrote this?" she demanded to know, looking around the ones listening.

A hand was raised and the rest stared in shock at the one it belonged to.

"Bookman!"

The old man went up to Lenalee and snatched the book, his book, back.

"I merely recorded it…" Bookman defended himself. "I didn't make it up."

Komui leaned forward, looking at the book with keen interest. "Who did?"

"Cross."

- o0o -

Cross Marian was surprisingly bored… and slightly high. The marijuana was really good this time a year, in India, where he was currently residing. He sneezed. "I need more wine…"

- o0o -

**Meanwhile, yet another visitor had arrived at the ultra mega gingerbread castle. **

**A little girl with spiky dark hair, wearing a frilly dress slowly descended from the sky, holding onto the umbrella she had been flying with. Landing on the ground she folded it before she started twirling it around, chewing a bubblegum. **

"**I seriously need that lamp…" she stated. "…I can't rule the world without it."**

"**I'm dizzy-lero…" the umbrella mumbled, but his complaints went by unheard.**

- o0o -

Meanwhile, at one of the Noah Headquarters, the real Tyki Mikk was right in the middle of his latest evil plan. He stuck a finger into his mouth, tasting his creation.

"It definitely needs more sugar…" he muttered. "I need my revenge to be sweet…"

An evil chuckle rose from his throat as he pulled out his secret stash of wasabi. "…and spicy…"

- o0o -

"This book is evil," Lenalee concluded, slamming it shut. "Let's burn it."

"No, no, no, no, no!" Komui shouted. "It's a masterpiece!"

"I would not recommend it," Bookman stated. "Since the two idiots and Allen Walker is at the moment trapped inside it."

"What?" most exclaimed in horror. "How?"

All stared at severely sleep-deprived Reever, who entered the room along with a very tired Johnny, as if he would be capable of providing all the answers they were looking for.

He wasn't.

"I was wondering what you were doing up this late…" he said after a while. "Where's the Baka trio?"

- o0o -

"So…." Reever said. "Let me get this straight…" he raised one finger "…When the Baka trio were to clean the library they somehow got sucked into a magical book of some sort which retells classical fairytales in the most twisted ways possible…" he raised another finger "…And instead of doing something to help them get out of there, you've read the fairytales one by one, is that right?"

They nodded.

"Then…" Reever continued after a brief pause. "This book… was made up by General Cross Marian and recorded by Bookman… for what purpose?"

All looked at Bookman, who merely shrugged. "It seemed like fun at the time… and we were really drunk…. Really, really drunk."

Reever raised an eyebrow. "Really, really drunk?"

Komui coughed. "Really, really, really drunk."

Reever sighed, scratching his head. "Regardless… I think I do know how to fix this…"

- o0o -

_**Five minutes later… a cult worshipping Reever Wenham had already formed…**_

- o0o -

"Our prayers have been answered! Pay your respects to Reever Wenham, the Savior! And to his sidekick, Johnny, the Protector of Geeks!"

The great Savior stood with the Book of Ultimate Evil in his hand, his newly acquired cape billowing in the wind brought forth by the fan which was right underneath the pedestal he was standing on. Before him were the baths, filled with steaming hot water.

"Are you sure this will work?" Johnny asked.

"Don't question the Savior!" Komui shouted before his voice morphed into slightly insane laughter. "He is the Savior and therefore infallible!"

"I think Brother has finally snapped…" Lenalee whispered to Bookman.

"I think he was like this all along…" he whispered back.

Insane chanting was heard as almost the entire Science Department had by now joined the more or less secret cult of Reever Wenham. "Throw the book, throw the book, throw the book, throw the…"

"They're mad all of them, aren't they?" Lenalee asked.

Bookman raised an eyebrow. "You're asking me?"

And so, the book was let go… or rather thrown… into the deepest part of the water. Tension was high as everyone waited… and waited… and waited…

After a few very uneventful minutes had gone by, Reever finally spoke up. "Oh well, looks like it didn't work after all. Let's go and celebrate anyway!"

And since no one could really argue with that logic, at least not at the time, they all went down to the cafeteria in search of a late night snack, having forgotten all about the book of supposed ultimate evil which was floating around in the water.

Soon the ink on the soaked pages started to dissolve and dispensed itself in the water as the book itself submerged.

- o0o -

A few minutes later, Kanda Yu emerged from the water, utterly soaked, obviously pissed and dragging a half-conscious Moyashi with him. Dragging them both from the water he made sure Allen was alright before he cast a murderous glare in direction of the book.

"I… have to kill somebody. Now," Allen coughed.

"Let's drown BakaUsagi if he ever turns up. I should've killed him long ago," Kanda said, tenderly streaking a lock of white hair out of the other teen's face.

"Chance!" Lavi shouted as he emerged from the water with a waterproof camera, snapping a photograph before either one of them could react before running off in direction of the exit, narrowly avoiding a piece of soap lying on the floor. "I still have those negatives! They'll be a common sight by tomorrow morning! Aha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Kanda fished up Mugen and drew it. "That's it."

Allen pulled out a voodoo doll and a couple of nails. "He's so freaking dead."

- o0o -

Meanwhile in the Noah Headquarters, Tyki woke up with a terrible headache, much like a hangover, except the fact that this one was from having consumed an excessive amount of candy. Yes… Chocolate.

Now… Why had Tyki even consumed copious amounts of chocolate anyway?

Simple; because he needed to rid himself of the evidence before the Earl realized his evil master plan.

Now… how the Hell was Tyki supposed to know that massive amounts of chocolate spiced up with wasabi could call forth hallucinations?

"Well… I'm not doing this again… not anytime soon at least."

- o0o -

Road chewed on some candy while she finished the last sentence of this very weird book she had found in the library. "…And so… there was an insane massacre and the ones who lived on lived happily ever after… maybe."

She slammed it shut and shoved it back into the bookcase where it belonged. "Now I'm bored again…"

- o0o -

**The End… probably.**

**Or not.**

**Apparently not.**


	5. Trick or Treat

_Note: V from the movie or the comic (V for Vendetta) does not belong to me. I have absolutely no idea as to why he appeared in this chapter. Absolutely no idea…._

- o0o -

**Trick or Treat**

- o0o -

It was your average morning at Headquarters, with a couple of minor explosions and destruction following in the steps of Komui's newest invention, Komurin V, a humanoid robot clad in a cape and a Guy Fawkes mask, which was merely running around killing tomatoes by throwing daggers at them.

The reason as to why Komurin V was so head bent on killing tomatoes remained unknown, but after somebody, presumably Jerry himself, whacked the presumably malfunctioning robot on the head with a frying pan, Komurin V came to change its target.

Now it was targeting pumpkins instead, for some inadequate and utterly unexplainable reason.

Needless to say of course, Komurin V made the process of the Halloween decorations in Headquarters short, to the dismay of the major part of the tower's population.

Reever the Almighty swiftly concluded that something needed to be done in order to save Halloween and he nominated three noble knights, the Idiotic Trio, to put a stop to the whole thing.

- o0o -

The Idiotic Trio, also referred to as the Baka Trio (or rather the Duo, seeing that Lavi was still in the sick bay after the massive beating, cutting and poisoning he had suffered, courtesy of one BaKanda and one Moyashi, who had, rather surprisingly, made a great amount of progress in their relationship…) did not appear very enthusiastic about taking on this kind of task.

"Explain to me one more time why we have to do this?" Allen asked with a yawn, as they had spent the better part of the night in Kanda's room, playing Hangman.

Having lost so badly the night before in Pictionary Allen had been keen on revenge, using his extensive knowledge of Swahili and Hindi, but Kanda had nearly outdone him, using Japanese. After a long and exhausting struggle involving all kinds of more or less obscene gestures and profanities Allen had finally been declared winner by default, seeing that _"*?&#%%#&!" _could hardly count as a real word.

"Why don't you explain to me why I have to do this with you of all people?" Kanda asked, giving him a somewhat sour look. "I can handle a dagger wielding robot running amok while blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back."

Allen's previously displeased facial expression changed to a sinister calculating one in an instant and a scheming smirk started playing on his lips. "Wanna bet?"

- o0o -

Five minutes later a swearing, blindfolded and tied up Kanda was pitted against one rampaging Komurin V, all while Allen watched the show, well equipped with the candy he had collected by trick-or-treating in the nearby town a couple of hours earlier.

You see, Allen's philosophy was to start early, before anyone else went trick-or-treating, in such hours that people didn't care what copious amounts of candy they shoved at him as long as he left them the Hell alone, and if they did not then Allen by no means left them any peace, not with the excessive amount of blackmailing material he had discovered while rummaging Lavi's possessions while he was still unconscious.

After all, it wasn't like Bookman minded much anyway; he had even pointed him in the right direction as to where to look for it.

Just thinking about all the trouble he had caused so far made Allen feel all giddy inside, especially since Halloween was far from over and he intended to use the Ark in order to cover more ground. In secret of course, as always.

Allen was intending to go as soon as he got breakfast, after Kanda finished up that whole Komurin V business.

"Hey, BaKanda!" Allen shouted from where he was situated, quite high up in the tower. "What was it you said about being able to handle a dagger wielding robot running amok while blindfolded with your hands tied behind your back again?"

Said samurai sputtered out quite an impressive amount of profanities at that while narrowly evading a dagger thrown at him.

Allen merely snickered before pulling out a voodoo doll which was pretty much a carbon copy of Komurin V before his face resumed a certain amount of indifference as he repeatedly stabbed the doll with a needle right where the armor was the lightest. The real Komurin V erupted in flames, but not before pointing at Allen.

"You haven't seen the last of me!" it shouted and then it was gone.

Allen put away the doll and looked down at Kanda, who had now, uncertain as of how, removed the blindfold.

"Untie me!" he hissed, glaring daggers at him.

Allen gave him a slight pout. "Say please?"

"Fuck you, Moyashi!"

"In your dreams, BaKanda."

"Won't you untie me, you little…"

"Only if you go trick or treating with me dressed up as a woman, Ba-Ka-N-Da."

The smirk on Allen's lips was a devilish one. Kanda knew he had been defeated.

- o0o -

The ringing of a doorbell brought Tyki to answer the door and he opened it, expecting to see a couple of children he would easily be able to scare away, maybe stealing their candy in the process, but in the end it was not children that met his eye but something else entirely.

It was a quite odd pair consisting of one very murderous-looking black-haired individual dressed up in a frilly pink dress and makeup, carrying a quite dangerous-looking sword, and a youth dressed up as a grim reaper carrying a sharp-looking scythe while giving him a dangerously friendly smile.

There was something awkwardly familiar about both of them, but Tyki was all too tired to figure it out.

"Trick or treat!"

The Noah of Pleasure gave the rather dangerous-looking weapons a tired look before he went to fetch the candy.

Members of the Noah clan were supposedly immortal, but Tyki somehow didn't feel up to tempting fate.

Besides, he still had some of that extremely spicy chocolate mixed with wasabi hidden deep down in the closet.

- o0o -


	6. Happy Hypocrites Redux

…

- o0o -

**Happy Hypocrites Redux**

- o0o -

Christmas was once again just around the corner and Tyki, as always, found himself at the receiving end of whatever devilish pranks the other Noah were up to. The fact that he had even survived Halloween without almost getting maimed was, in itself, nothing short of a miracle.

Still, when it came to the festive seasons Christmas was no doubt the most troublesome one, seeing that one was required to acquire all these gifts for friends and family members. Seeing to the fact that Tyki had quite few friends (his human ones would be awarded with a sack of coal, just like all other years) but a Hell of a big family (all in all approximately fourteen or fifteen), so it didn't take a lot of brainpower for Tyki to determine that all his savings would have been reduced to air in just a day or so. In fact, Tyki had been thinking about rejecting the concept of Christmas in general or at least to find some way to twist it in order for it to fit together with his own rather sadistic ideals.

But, looking at the past and what happened last Christmas (some plot involving infiltrating the Black Order Headquarters and so on) Tyki had no doubts he would be forced to do something similar this year and surely enough the Earl popped in with a request which was all in tune with the Christmas spirit in general: Abducting Allen Walker (aka the Fourteenth) and making him spend Christmas with the rest of the family.

_Great, great, just bloody terrific… _

Tyki shrugged lightly before tilting his head to the side; maybe this whole Christmas thing wasn't so bad after all, seeing that he would have the chance to battle it out with Cheating Boy A without planning to assassinate him in the meantime.

- o0o -

Meanwhile, somewhere not all too far away said white-haired teen sneezed. Seeing this, Kanda raised an eyebrow. "I thought idiots didn't catch colds."

- o0o -

Allen Walker was not having a good day. To be completely honest, he probably would've preferred staying in bed today and the following days as well, seeing that he was very likely to get dragged off to the grand Christmas party sometime in the near future. Somehow Allen, with his meek and friendly nature, just felt like attacking some random Santa appearing before him and beating said Santa to a pulp, but then again, that sort of action wouldn't mix very well with the so called Christmas spirit.

Then again, speaking about spirits, the Fourteenth had obviously decided to provide some extra torture for him this year, judging by the fact that various Christmas carols were replaying themselves in his head over and over. Needless to say, Allen wanted to kill someone; being subjected to an excessive amount of Christmas carols tended to do that to you.

_It's just too bad I can't handle alcohol… I seriously need a drink right now._

Since hiding obviously didn't work when it came to Christmas, Allen did what he considered to be the most sensible thing to do; he locked the door to his room and blocked it before going back to bed.

Needless to say, he had not been left alone.

The first one to disturb him was Lavi. Allen pulled down one of the torture devices from the walls in the room and threw it at the Bookman apprentice when he opened the door.

The second one was Lenalee. Allen flung an axe after her. It didn't hit, but judging by the look on her face she wasn't very likely to visit him again anytime in the near future.

The third one was Kanda, who had also managed to avoid the axe flung at him with his keen reflexes. Kanda didn't look overly impressed; he didn't look all too keen at celebrating Christmas either after all, but it seemed as if he had figured that he might as well go and bother Allen with his presence so that they could play a game or something.

A very bad choice indeed.

Halfway through a game of Monopoly both of them looked up at the sound of someone knocking, on the window of all things. They looked, only to find a Noah standing there in the empty air looking like it wasn't anything peculiar. On the other hand, it was a Noah they both recognized.

"It's the Perm," Kanda noted.

Allen went up to the window and opened it.

"Hello, Tyki-pet," Allen said with an unenthusiastic look on his face. "You better have an awfully good reason to bother me right now…"

"Hi, Cheating Boy A," Tyki smirked as he raised his hand in a greeting. "I'm here to kidnap you."

Kanda's eyes narrowed and his fingers started seeking out Mugen's handle. Allen's eyebrow twitched noticeably before he tilted his head to the side.

"What's the occasion?" he asked, still sounding quite unenthusiastic.

"Christmas party," Tyki replied with a smug look on his face.

"No thanks," Allen replied with a shrug. "But, if this whole kidnapping thing involves putting me out of my misery for even an hour or so I will be more than happy to oblige."

Tyki tapped his cheek, obviously considering his next move. Then he raised his index finger with a cheerful smirk.

"Then how about a compromise?" the Noah said. "If I can beat the both of you in a game of Monopoly I get to kidnap you."

Allen tilted his head to the side, saying nothing.

"And if you lose?" Kanda asked, crossing his arms and giving the Noah an unfriendly look.

"Then I will parade around naked in the Black Order Headquarters' cafeteria covered in whipped cream," Tyki replied.

Both exorcists stared at him with a disbelieving look on their faces. Then Kanda's adapted a somewhat sickened look while Allen's facial expression was one of scepticism.

"It's not good enough," Allen said in his lecturing voice. "It's got to be something painful or potentially lethal like spraying graffiti onto the Earl's coat… Stuff like that…"

Kanda turned his face towards him, his eyebrow twitching. "You're seriously considering this?"

Allen gave him a disinterested look. "It isn't like we've actually got anything better to do, right?"

- o0o -

Playing monopoly with a Noah turned out to be a really bad idea, for several reasons, one being that said Noah had the ability to reject virtually anything he didn't want to touch, such as the property where three hotels had been put down.

It was to be considered as cheating of course, but it wasn't like the others played fairly anyway. Allen was smuggling money out of the bank, Kanda was cheating with the properties and Tyki was putting his hotels virtually everywhere.

Financially Kanda was the richest, at least until he was unfortunate enough to trample upon one of the most expensive spots on the board, leaving him financially ruined. He laid down his stuff with a disgruntled look on his face.

"I knew we should've played Go Fish instead."

Ten minutes later Allen heaved a sigh.

"Looks like it's my loss after all…" he said while sounding like he really didn't care about the whole ordeal. "Now tell me, what you people actually do on these family gatherings?" he continued, looking up at a seemingly surprised Tyki.

"Nothing worth notice really," Tyki then replied, shrugging mildly. "Besides eating we usually just mess around…"

Kanda and Allen exchanged an odd look. "Sounds rather like what we do around here, doesn't it?"

"How the Hell am I supposed to know; I've never been there."

Their musings were interrupted by a soft knock on the door, accompanied by Lenalee's hesitant inquiry.

"Allen-kun… I'm sorry for waking you up earlier, but…" she went quiet for a moment before speaking again. "There's mitarashi dango down in the cafeteria…"

The room's current occupants exchanged looks with each other. It was Allen who spoke up first, speaking in merely a whisper. "It sounds like a trap."

Both Tyki and Kanda nodded in agreement. Then Kanda swiftly got to his feet, sheathing Mugen before he pulled Allen up from the floor as well.

"I'd rather wreck the Noah family reunion than spend a minute more than necessary with these fools," he growled before turning towards Tyki. "Let's get going already before we have a Komurin whatever on our asses."

Tyki raised an eyebrow. "A Komurin what?"

Allen waved dismissingly with his hand. "Don't ask. Believe me; you don't want to know."

"I think I'll take your word for it, Boy," Tyki said, snapping his fingers. "Road's door is here."

Approximately five seconds later Allen's door was broken down and invaded, but the invaders soon found that there was no one in there. On the floor was a seemingly finished game of Monopoly along with a note saying the following thing:

_Apparently I've been kidnapped. Don't look for me. Apparently Kanda just tagged along. Don't look for him either. I believe the ransom is fifty-three liters of wasabi. If it is not delivered to secret location number four by Monday I will have to celebrate New Year with the Millennium Earl. We DON'T want that to happen, believe me._

_- Allen Walker_

Lenalee stared at the note with disbelief before turning to Lavi. "They got away."

- o0o -

Dining with the esteemed Noah clan and number one enemy of the Black Order, the Millennium Earl, was about as exquisite as it was potentially dangerous, even though the ones sitting at the table had taken a silent vow not to kill each other while dining (attempts at killing each other after dining was to be considered okay). Still, the major part of the Noah weren't all too happy with the two exorcists sitting at the table; Allen was certainly tolerated since he would pretty much be one of them soon anyway, Kanda's presence on the other hand was barely tolerated. As a matter of fact, it was only tolerated because of something Allen had said earlier on.

"What?" Allen had said, looking somewhat surprised with the question as of why the raven-haired teen had tagged along. "He's my manservant; why wouldn't he tag along?"

Kanda leaned in close under the appearance of reaching for some sort of odd green stuff.

"You do know that I'm going to kill you when we get out of here, right?" he hissed through gritted teeth.

Allen looked up at him, still looking somewhat surprised or at least thoughtful as he rested his chin onto his hands. Then he awarded him with a somewhat evil smirk. "Is that so? I wouldn't bet on that, you foulmouthed cross-dresser."

"Cross-dresser?" Road echoed as she lashed her arms around the white-haired teen who was smiling with a great amount of mirth. "Is that really a girl?" she pointed towards Kanda, who looked even more pissed off at the remark.

The other Noah around the table along with the Earl regarded them with mixed amounts of curiosity and amusement.

Allen's smirk widened to a grin of Noah variety. "I believe that the correct label would be 'she-male', Road."

Somebody whistled. A few chuckled. Two was rolling around on the floor while laughing themselves to death. Tyki regarded them with a somewhat thoughtful expression and Kanda looked awfully ready to kill them all. Not that it was such a strange thing, considering the circumstances.

"Hey, Boy," Tyki then said, tilting his head slightly to the side. "Shouldn't 'tsundere' fit him-her better?"

Allen looked at him before directing his gaze towards Kanda, who seemed to be all too horrified to be plotting their imminent demise. Then he looked back at Tyki again, a slight frown appearing on his face.

"You may be right; Kanda does have several of the characteristics for a tsundere," Allen said, also tilting his head to the side. "Aggressive, but a real softie on the inside. Definitely tsundere."

The Noah nodded in agreement. The Earl chuckled.

"Hey…" Road said, studying the infuriated samurai further. "There's definitely something missing…"

"…Something that makes…" Devitto started.

"…The imagery complete…" Jasdero completed.

Sighing deeply Lulubell got up from her chair, bowing down to the Earl.

"Excuse me for a moment," she said as she left for a few moments before returning with something in her hands which she then presented to Road. "Cat ears."

Kanda, obviously putting the pieces together, decided to make a run for it.

Hence, the one getting equipped with a pair of black cat ears happened to be Allen Walker.

Malicious aura swirled around him as he grabbed a hold of the nearest person available, who turned out to be Devitto. "**Mirror. Now."**

Meanwhile, around the table, the other occupants of the table were having a lot to think about.

_Kya! So cute!_

_What an aura…_

_This isn't sweet._

_*Nosebleed.* This is the best Christmas ever._

_I wonder what he'd look like with a tail…_

_I wonder how Road would look with cat ears…_

_Why isn't this sweet?_

_Exorcist brat is scary. Very very scary._

_Yay, finally the family's tormenting somebody else! We should do this more often!_

_Where did the black-haired one go?_

Allen looked up, his eyes narrowed. _Somebody will pay for this._

**Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the…**

The voice in his head made a somewhat strangled noise and Allen smiled maliciously. _Take that, Fourteenth!_

- o0o -

Celebrating New Years with the Noah family and the Millennium Earl wasn't half as bad as Allen had imagined and by no means as annoying as Christmas had been.

Speaking of that vile celebration, due to two very mischievous Noah the cat ears on top of Allen's head was now there more or less permanently due to the superglue they had been attached with; getting rid of them would probably be the same as shaving his head and Allen had no plans whatsoever to look like a kappa, even though Kanda had suggested for him to do so.

For that suggestion Allen had grabbed a hold of a pair of horns as well as a bottle of the same superglue under which effects he had suffered and repeated the process with Kanda; the raven-haired samurai wasn't all too thrilled with it, but apparently he preferred it to having cat ears.

"Allen! Allen!" Road shouted, waving cheerfully at him from where she stood accompanied by Jasdero and Devitto. "Let's get the fireworks ready!"

Allen approached the group with a sinister smile, receiving one in return; who didn't get fired up from dealing with fireworks? Besides, Allen had plans and he assumed that the twins also did.

Still, the combination of Noah plus pyrotechnics may just be a little dangerous…

Scratch that. The combination of Noah plus pyrotechnics was very dangerous and should be avoided at all costs if one was able to do so, but unfortunately for Allen, he didn't have the luxury of being able to run away from this New Years' party; the ransom hadn't been paid yet.

So Allen thought he might as well enjoy his stay at the Earl's while he could, and a part of that enjoyment would almost definitely come from shooting fireworks at his greatest nemesis; it wasn't like the Earl would get too mad at him for making attempts on his life at a festive night like this anyway and Allen could always blame his bad aim in case he was asked about it; a lie of course, since his aim was flawless whenever he really put himself into it.

On the other hand, in case his plan to use the fireworks as firearms did fail he had a backup plan involving several small bombs he had planted all over the place. Whenever he managed to get out of this place he would do it with a boom.

A horned Kanda appeared before him just as he had finished his preparations for the Plan B. "Moyashi, we need to talk."

Excusing himself from Road and the others Allen followed Kanda to a more secluded place in the garden where the party was being held. As they had passed by a big tree Kanda pulled them both behind it.

"We need to get out of here," Kanda hissed in his ear.

Allen gave him a rather unimpressed look in the dimmed lights from the various lamps placed around the garden.

"What happened to Tyki?" he then asked. "I know that you were helping him out with his newest spicy creation… Where is he now?"

"He is in the wine cellar this very minute, locked up with only his newest spicy creation to feed on," Kanda replied without blinking.

Allen tilted his head to the side. "You do know that Tyki can walk right through walls, right?"

Kanda's eyebrow twitched. "Crap."

"Crap isn't the least of it, you little devils," a cheerful yet threatening voice said as a heavy hand landed on top of their respective heads. "I hear you were planning on making a run for it…"

Gulping the two exorcists looked up at their assailant, waiting to find the Earl but finding Tyki Mikk instead. Said Noah of Pleasure almost immediately burst into laughter.

"Geez, you should've seen the looks on your faces," Tyki said. "It was priceless! I wish I had brought a camera along!"

Allen tilted his head to the other side, surveying the Noah with great interest.

"Tyki, are you drunk?" he asked.

"What is New Years without drinking?" Tyki asked with a smirk on his face. "Since I was down there in the wine cellar I thought I might as well have some…"

The two exorcists exchanged a look.

"I've got some spicy stuff on me," Tyki continued, swaying a little where he stood. "You want any?"

Kanda and Allen exchanged another look, both frowning somewhat. It was Kanda who spoke up first. "Let's get out here before the drunk decides to start distributing hugs."

"Or drugs," Allen added with a short nod, but as they both turned around to leave Tyki lashed himself onto their shoulders.

"Come on," Tyki said. "Let me in on this whole escape scheme; I don't think I'll survive another party with these other freaks… Please…"

Allen turned his head to look towards Kanda, his expression frank. "He'd be a burden; let's push him into the pond over there."

"Sounds like a splendid idea," Kanda nodded with a great amount of sarcasm. "It'll be like a real life adaption of Go Fish."

"Come on, don't be like that," Tyki said, straightening up. "I know a shortcut."

Once they were all a relatively safe distance away from the rest Allen stopped, holding his hand out to Tyki.

"Would you happen to have a lighter on you?" he asked, surprisingly polite.

The lighter was surrendered to him and he crouched down, searching in the grass for the blasting fuse he had left there sometime earlier on. A broad smirk appeared on his face.

"A dramatic entrance is fine," he said with a certain amount of glee. "But nothing says dramatic exit like a boom."

- o0o -

Allen yawned; it was already nearing dawn and he was sitting on a train going God-knows-where as he was currently preoccupied with a game of Go Fish with an equally exhausted Kanda and a slightly sobered-up Tyki.

Apparently there would be some sort of penalty given to the loser, something about dressing up as a woman and having to seduce a stranger; not that it would be much of a problem for Allen; people were giving him looks even now.

Seriously, what was it with people and cat ears?

Regardless, losing on purpose was against his principles in general and he really wanted to see whether any of the others would actually be able to do it; it didn't matter much to him whether it was Kanda or Tyki who would be subjected to this penalty, since both instances would likely be interesting.

Allen's smirk broadened; he would be winning for sure.

- o0o -


	7. Game On

…

- o0o -

**Game On!**

- o0o -

Allen and Kanda had finally made it back to Headquarters after having gotten lost somewhere in a Romanian Forest, having crossed through scorching deserts and having hitched a ride with a circus. Regardless of the way they got there, the reception committee seemed pleasantly surprised at seeing them, especially since Kanda was still sporting around with very much female clothing (quite torn and in rags but it was still a dress in pink and with frills to the boot).

As one may realize it was Kanda who'd lost in the card game which had taken place on a train such a long time ago, but on the other hand, Tyki did end up in a dress as well, on his part for losing a bet. Either way, both of them had been talked into (forced and blackmailed into) seducing the first male who they met on the train, a male which happened to be no other than the elusive Cross Marian himself, who appeared quite torn as to which one of the supposed females he should pick, as he did like the Japanese girl and the either Portuguese or Spanish woman pretty much the same as they were both easy on the eyes (a bit flat breasted the both of them, but who was he to complain).

Still, the past was the past and Kanda had no intention of reliving it (Allen relived it quite a few times though, since he had taken pictures), they joined in on the currently ongoing celebration of Easter.

"This is boring…" Allen announced after having found thirty-six hidden chocolate eggs, all of them located beneath the mountain like piles of paperwork in Komui's office. "It really isn't a challenge."

"I don't give a damn," Kanda replied while sifting through secret files that were lying out in the open, a deed which earned him a quite odd look from Allen. "What?"

"Pray tell, Kanda, why are you snooping around in the secret files of the Black Order at this time, in this place?"

"I'm not snooping around," Kanda replied with a shrug as he continued doing just that. "I'm looking for Easter eggs…"

Allen gave him a somewhat disbelieving look, frowning lightly. "Kanda, you hate sweets."

"So?"

- o0o -

Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location, the Noah were about as bored as the exorcists themselves.

"I'm bored," Road announced, twirling a caramel between her fingers.

"We're all bored," Tyki replied. "I'm not even allowed to cook."

"Thank the Higher Power for that," Sheryl replied.

"This isn't sweet," Skin Bolic announced, chewing on some candy.

"We want to play a game," Jasdero and Devitto added while playing around with their guns. "A game with exorcists..."

"Well…" Tyki said, looking around. "The Earl isn't around at the moment so… sure, why not?"

- o0o -

"A game with the exorcists?" Tyki repeated, raising an eyebrow before his face gained quite a thoughtful expression. "Well… the Earl isn't around at the moment, so… sure, why not?"

Road was virtually bouncing by now and the twins were cackling with glee. Sheryl seemed to like the idea, probably because it was likely going to involve tormenting exorcists and making Road happy at the same time. Skin Bolic just wanted something sweeter. Jasdero and Devitto wanted to play games with Cross Marian's apprentice. Lulubell, coming into the room, looked like she'd just tasted something sour enough to be of the degree of acid, but then, all of a sudden her facial expression went through a major change and she raised her index finger.

"Say… Isn't this Easter thing about collecting Eggs and stuff?"

"It is," Tyki replied while the others nodded. "What about it?"

"Shouldn't we be upholding the tradition of egg hunting as well?" Lulubell said, tapping her cheek with a thoughtful expression. "Don't they… the exorcists… have a certain something… an Egg… that belongs to us?"

The rest of the Noah stared at her with virtually perplexed expressions for a few moments before at least a few of them realized just what the Hell she was insinuating. Tyki raised an eyebrow.

"A surprise attack on the exorcist Headquarters while the Earl is away?" he said. "My, aren't we naughty."

"Naughty indeed," Sheryl agreed, playing around with his fork. "Say, what sort of a game is it that we are speaking of? Got any suggestions?"

"Treasure hunt involving Eggs," Lulubell admitted without batting an eyelash.

"Cooking contest," Tyki smirked. "Involving chocolate." Skin Bolic briefly gave him thumbs up before resuming his eating.

Road and the twins exchanged a look.

"Say, Tyki," Road then said. "Let's do this Ark style."

Tyki raised an eyebrow, but leaned forward in clear interest.

"Let me get this straight," Tyki said, sketching on a piece of paper. "This… is what you want?"

Road grabbed the paper and looked at it, a happy smirk adorning her lips.

"Yep, that's exactly what I want."

Then Lulubell snatched the piece of paper and looked at it for a few moments before nodding and passing it onward.

Once every Noah present in the room had given their OK to the plan, Tyki scratched his head. "Still… we're gonna need some help to pull off this one."

- o0o -

Meanwhile, in the Black Order Headquarters, Kanda was just about done sifting through the secret files of the Order, taking an occasional photocopy as he was assembling blackmailing material, should he ever need some.

Allen on the other hand, finally having gotten bored of waiting, stopped shuffling the deck of cards he had been entertaining himself with for the last couple of minutes and shoved it into his pocket in an overly dramatic gesture before marching in direction of the exit.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kanda flatly asked, looking up.

"Somewhere I won't be boring myself to death," Allen replied, giving him a somewhat pointed look. "You make lousy company when trying to be sneaky."

"And just what the Hell is that supposed to mean?" Kanda asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Allen replied in a bland manner as he stopped briefly on his way out. "You're such a boring person." Then he was out of sight.

Kanda's eyebrow gave a not so very subtle twitch. "Boring person, he says?"

For unknown reasons, the statement pissed him off and he grabbed his stuff and went after him, only to stop dead once he had made it out into the corridor and looking around, seeing to the fact that there were no Allen in sight. Kanda spent the next thirty-seven minutes looking for said white-haired teen and came up with nothing in the end. Damn Allen for pulling another disappearing act on him.

- o0o -

Meanwhile, said exorcist was being shoved into a conveniently placed closet by no other than the Noah of Pleasure, Tyki Mikk.

"Tyki, what are you, a freaking stalker?" Allen hissed, earning himself a snicker.

"I'm not a stalker," Tyki replied with a snicker, then he went silent for a brief moment before adding "…Well, except at the moment" to his sentence.

Allen took a deep breath, trying to massage his temples but finding it quite difficult since while the closet may have been big enough for one person to hide in it certainly wasn't big enough for two, hence it was just a bit (a lot) too cramped in there for Allen's taste, and that was still counting out the fact that he was in it with a person who had been trying to assassinate him once upon a time.

"Right…" he said. "I already sort of figured that Road's got this thing for me, but you… well… nah, screw that. Just tell me what the Hell you want this time?"

"It's Easter," Tyki replied, as if it was going to explain everything, which it didn't.

"Yeah, so?"

"It's Easter, we're bored and we want to play with you guys," Tyki clarified.

"Define play."

"We want to play games, not engage you in foreplay or anything," Tyki replied with a straight face while Allen on the other hand flushed. "Oh, did that embarrass you, Boy?"

"Not really," Allen replied, although his face was still a bit red. "I think I may have a fever or something; come back and play next time."

"Oh?" Tyki said, sounding quite intrigued as he put a hand on Allen's forehead. "You do feel a bit warm, but really, with you feigning illness like this just to avoid helping your kinsmen out I might as well pretend that the shock you got from my reappearance gave you a cardiac arrest so that I have to give you CPR…"

"In that case I am fine, thank you very much for asking," Allen replied. "Now, what am I supposedly avoiding helping my so called kinsmen out with?"

- o0o -

Once Tyki had finished his basic explanation Allen summoned a gate to the Ark and they both went into the piano room.

"This is the control room?" Tyki said, looking around in a very curious manner. "It's so… white in here."

"Blame the Fourteenth, not me," Allen said with a snort, taking a seat by the piano and allowing his fingers to slide over the keys.

"Is that the control mechanism?" Tyki said, looking quite curious as he studied the white piano before him.

"Scouting for information, are you?" Allen wryly asked, turning his head to glance at said Noah before returning his attention to the keys. "Still, it's the holidays and I expect you to get drunk enough to forget this… Or else there's a great chance that you're gonna die in your sleep."

"Ah… You're so crude," Tyki said while scratching his head after having taken a seat in the sofa available in the room. "So are we gonna do this or not?"

"Certainly," Allen replied, still eyeing the keys. "I haven't been in here for a while so my playing skills may be a bit rusty…" the piano gave rise to a tune that sounded severely off key "…Rustier than usual…"

Tyki raised an eyebrow.

"Are you really the Player That the Fourteenth Left Behind?" he asked, trying to recall the name he had seen in one of the files he had read through once upon a time when he was very drunk. "Or the Musician's Requirement or whatever…?"

Allen gave him a somewhat surprised look.

"The Fourteenth?" he said. "Who really knows about that guy, besides the fact that he likes tormenting people by replaying Christmas carols in an endless loop until the person in question is on the verge of losing his sanity…"

"Uh… I think you've already crossed the line actually," Tyki replied, sounding a bit bored.

In return Allen gave him The Look, but not the good kind of look but rather the one showing certain promise of hurting people. Nevertheless Tyki held his hands up in a sign of defeat and Allen snorted, returning his attention to the piano as he started to play, not too shoddy at all when he actually put some effort in it.

"I'm starting," Allen announced, pressing down several keys. A live image of the rest of the Ark appeared on the wall like some flash screen and Tyki whistled.

"That… was really neat," he announced. "Are the rooms ready yet?"

"In a minute," Allen replied, pressing several keys down at a rapid pace. "Ok, I'm done. The exits are sealed as well."

"Road and the others are on their way," Tyki replied. "They'll get in on their own, probably."

And sure enough one of Road's doors appeared inside of the Ark and the rest of the Noah exited it, looking around a bit curiously judging by the video monitors.

"Allen!" Road shouted. "Where are you?"

"_Where am I really I wonder? I appear to have lost myself inside the secret room of the Fourteenth."_

"_Allen, that's evil."_

"Hey, why's Tyki allowed inside this secret room?" Devitto asked. "I wanna see it too!"

"Wanna see! Wanna see!"

"This isn't sweet."

"That brings up a valuable point actually," Lulubell announced, earning herself several odd looks from the rest. "No, not the lack of sweetness. The reason as to why Tyki's allowed to view the hidden room while we're not…"

"_Sorry guys, but it accounts as a safety precaution… It just wouldn't do if anyone got any funny ideas… Besides, it isn't like the Earl lets you lot fool around with the other Ark just for the sake of it either…"_

"_He does actually."_

"_Well, I don't give a crap. Should I make things fairer for everybody by expelling Tyki from the room?"_

The remaining Noah nodded profusely and Allen turned around, giving Tyki a somewhat apologetic look before smirking evilly and pressing down a key, which caused the Noah to reappear next to the rest of his kin.

"_Satisfied?"_

"Not really," Tyki replied, brushing some dust off his tuxedo. "I kinda liked it in there."

"_This whole talking thing is taking too long. Are we gonna do this or not?"_

"Well, the rooms are fixed so all that's left are our contestants," Tyki said. "So, we pick one each and bet on the outcome?"

"_What about a point system? Points for winning the challenges and bonus points for doing it with style. And a hundred points for the Noah whose contestant wins. What about it?"_

"Fine," Lulubell agreed with a sigh. "Let's do it."

"_Let's pick our contestants; we're allowed two each. Since I am sort of in this I might as well have a go at it myself; I nominate Kanda Yu, the grumpy looking exorcist with the sword, and Reever Wenham, scientist. Tyki."_

"I nominate… what's his name again… the redhead."

"_Lavi."_

"Yeah, that guy and the old guy he hangs around with."

"I nominate… the two-spot guy and the one with the hives," Lulubell announced after a while.

"_Howard Link and Bak Chan?"_

She nodded.

"I nominate the cook," Skin Bolic muttered.

"_Jerry."_

"I nominate Cross Marian, because we still want to kick his ass," Devitto announced, cheered on by Jasdero. "And that vampire guy. Devitto nominates… any suggestions?"

"_Komui Lee."_

"Komui who?"

"_Supervisor of the Black Order. Chinese. He's Lenalee's brother."_

"And the geek with round glasses."

"_That's Johnny."_

"I pick Lenalee and the unlucky woman," Road announced.

"_So, Skin Bolic's got only one, but hey, not my problem. Sheryl's got none so far."_

"I'm good," Sheryl replied. "Can't I participate as a special judge or something?"

"_Giving points for the amount of sadism involved, right?"_

"Exactly."

"_Let's get things going then. The contestants will be dropping in any minute now so get over to your assigned rooms. Tyki will stand for the introduction."_

"Got it."

Allen smirked as he pressed down a key.

"What the F…?" Kanda shouted as he fell into a black hole which had just appeared beneath his feet.

"_**Game Start."**_

- o0o -

"What the F…?" Kanda shouted as he fell into a black hole which had just appeared beneath his feet, and he was far from the only one.

A severely sleep deprived Reever Wenham, the section leader of the Black Order Headquarters' science department, met the same fate, followed by an equally surprised Johnny who had been standing next to him.

The Lee siblings experienced something similar; as did the Bookman and his Apprentice, as did Crowley and Miranda, Link, Jerry, Bak Chan and Cross Marian.

As was to be expected, the lot of them was very surprised and understandably upset by the fact that they had apparently been kidnapped in order to participate in some crazy game.

"And that's pretty much it," Tyki finished, smirking evilly at the contestants that were glaring at him. "But have in mind that this isn't a survival game like last time… well sort of at least, since we've got a monitor here to make sure we won't kill each other in here…"

"And that monitor you speak of would happen to be my stupid apprentice, no?" Cross asked in annoyance as he lightened a cigarette. "Allen, I'll make sure you pay for this later!"

"_Hey, this is my payback for the fact that my childhood sucked. Deal with it!"_

"Allen-kun?" Lenalee shouted. "Why are you in this as well?"

"_I was pulled into a closet and threatened, hence the reason I'm in this is because of me giving in to peer pressure. It isn't like I'm actually letting them kill you or anything, as long as you play by the rules that is."_

"What rules?" Reever asked, scratching his head.

"_Unless memory fails me Tyki just explained them to you. Nevertheless, in order to escape this place you need to pass through… let's say thirteen doors. In order to do so you have to gain the keys, which are hidden within an egg that will be given to those who make the cut."_

"And those who doesn't?" Johnny asked, sounding a bit shaken.

"_Those who fail in the challenges will have to participate in a penalty game before resuming the race, and just for the reference, Jasdero and Devitto are currently in charge of them. Yeah, and they seriously want revenge on you, Cross."_

Said exorcist general scratched his head.

"I suppose that's good to know."

"_Now, let's start so that we can get this whole thing over with. Tyki, guide them to the First Room."_

"Yes sir."

- o0o -

The contestants entered the first room, looking around in wonder. It was Jerry who spoke up the words that was on all their minds.

"Ara, is this a kitchen?"

"Sure looks like it," Reever agreed while Link scribbled something down on his notepad.

"There sure wasn't a kitchen in the Ark last time I checked," Bak muttered, trying to keep his cool long enough to sneak a glance at Lenalee, a deed which earned him the Evil Eye Komui sent his way. "Walker must've redesigned the place."

"Obviously," Kanda snorted, looking around with a certain amount of distaste. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Welcome, welcome," Tyki announced while holding onto a microphone. "Welcome to Cooking with Tyki. This challenge is, as you may have figured out by now, about cooking… sweets. Our special judge for the day is Skin Bolic, sitting right over there…" he pointed towards said Noah, who was sitting at a table nearby, clutching a spoon and glaring at them with a sour look on his face. "Now, this explanation thing is getting boring so let's just go ahead and start."

Kanda raised his hand.

"Tyki, a word?"

Said Noah of Pleasure blinked with surprise at the odd display from the samurai and he certainly wasn't the only one, but he made his way over to the raven-haired teen nonetheless and Kanda whispered something in his ear. Tyki raised an eyebrow, but then he smirked and raised the microphone while Kanda made his way over to Skin Bolic, pulled something out of his pocket and handed it over. Skin Bolic consumed the item immediately, chewed it and swallowed before pulling out an item on his own and handing it over.

"It would appear as though our contestant Kanda Yu has found a way to cheat his way through the first challenge by bribing the judge," Tyki announced with a smirk. "But as it appears his efforts paid off after all and Skin Bolic has handed over one of the keys."

Kanda opened the Easter egg he had received from the Noah and pulled out the key with a look of utter triumph on his face as he went through the next door.

Meanwhile, others sought to repeat the process, looking through their pockets in a desperate search for some of the Easter candy some of them had picked up earlier, while others, such as Jerry, had ascended on the task with a surprising amount of enthusiasm.

In the end Bookman and Lavi managed to cheat their way through as well while Jerry and Link actually managed to win the challenges regardless, using some chocolate fudge and apple-pie.

Hence Reever, Komui, Lenalee, Crowley, Miranda, Bak and Cross ended up in a penalty game. Said penalty game just happened to be strip poker.

- o0o -

Freshly out of a penalty game of strip poker and other outrageous activities stumbled Lenalee Lee, wearing far less now than earlier, along with Miranda and Crowley, both in similar conditions, and Komui looking outraged, Reever looking bored, Bak breaking out in hives and Cross being his usual self, at least after having wiped some of the drool from his mouth.

"Welcome to the Second Room," Road announced with a grin as she stood alongside Lulubell. "Also known as the Cosplay Room."

"Pick an outfit," Lulubell continued. "Once we decide you're cute enough you get a pass onto the Third Room."

There was a certain sound of dismay from the contestants, mainly from the male part of them.

"Kanda Yu managed to clear this room within a minute and the others weren't so far behind," Lulubell continued with a thoughtful look. "I'll be extracting points from those who're too slow."

- o0o -

The ones who had already advanced to room number three found themselves in quite a pickle, as they were all of them involved in a game of monopoly… with them standing like some pawns on a game plan which roughly seemed to be around the size of two or three soccer fields, at least from their point of view.

Those from a more scientific upbringing, such as the scientists participating in the game, found themselves questioning how the Hell it was possible to fit something of that size inside just one room… but on the other hand, since when did science apply whenever either Allen or the other Noah's were involved? Or Innocence for that matter?

Nevertheless, since Kanda had pretty much breezed through the two previous rooms and had therefore had spent more time playing he was now in possession of most of the property in the game, closely followed by Bookman, who knew these things. The biggest loser so far had been Lavi, who'd been forced to start all over again… for the third time in a row, seeing that the only way to win this version of the game was to force someone else into bankruptcy, which both Kanda, Bookman and surprisingly enough Reever had managed to accomplish this and they had hence managed to move onto Room Four after getting the key.

At the moment, the players involved in the game were Lavi (the fourth time), Cross, Komui, Lenalee, Miranda, Crowley, Link and Bak, but soon enough Bak and Link exited the game as victors, having caused both Miranda and Crowley into bankruptcy.

Jerry was nowhere to be seen, since he had went back into the first room to chat about food with Skin Bolic.

And so the game continued on… endlessly… but not really, since things got a little bit more interesting after Cross and Lavi joined forces, robbed the bank and forced everyone else into bankruptcy. They probably should've been disqualified for that, but really, neither Allen the Monitor or the Noah Judges gave a damn since it made things interesting.

- o0o -

The Fourth Room was a room of what could best be described as a quite odd mixture of fighting a battle royal while doing it as gracefully as possible, by dancing. Points were awarded both for landing a hit and if one did so in a manner that could be considered graceful by one of the judges (consisting of a snickering Tyki, a mildly bored-looking Road and a surprisingly smug looking Lulubell) would be awarded a key out of there after having repeated the same accomplishment at least three times.

Kanda, with his quite natural grace and sword style, had landed his third so called "graceful hit" onto an opponent, which happened to be Crowley for the occasion, when the voice from the sky (Allen) made a rather surprising announcement.

"_Would anyone mind telling me how the Hell Cross just managed to get out without anybody noticing?"_

The Noah looked at each other, some of them horrified while others were merely surprised. Then Tyki got up and left the room through a wall.

"Troublesome."

Meanwhile, the missing contestants (aka Johnny and Cross) were seemingly plotting somebody's demise, for some inadequate unexplainable reason. It was probably Allen's demise though, even if Johnny appeared to have a small crush on the guy. Maybe it was because someone forgotten about him back then in one of the earlier rooms? Who really knew in times of madness like this… after all for those who didn't already know madness was if not mildly then extremely contagious and Cross certainly couldn't be called sane.

Actually, they weren't even planning anyone's demise at the moment (maybe Cross was, a little bit), as they were both far too busy planning to abduct the so called Monitor Allen Walker and put an end to this madness after all… or drag it out; they hadn't really decided upon such small and insignificant details as of yet. They were however considering asking for a ransom once they accomplished their goal though, but they still hadn't been able to decide whether they should be asking for ransom from the Noah or the Black Order. Either way, Cross wanted wine and preferably some vodka as well and Johnny wanted to get drunk for the first time, so at the moment they considered it a possible win-win situation.

Meanwhile, inside the Secret Room of the Fourteenth Allen suppressed a shudder before resuming his search for the two wayward contestants; say whatever one wanted about Cross Marian in general, but his cloaking devices were a pain in the ass to deal with.

"_**Allen."**_

Allen turned around, facing the mirror and the grinning shadow which resided within it.

"What the Hell do you want, stalker?" he asked him flatly, tilting his head to the side.

"_**I'm bored."**_

"So am I," Allen replied with a light shrug. "Go bug somebody else about it."

Two round orbs stared at him, unblinking.

"_**Don't you want to make things a little more interesting by bringing Him in?"**_

Allen blinked.

"Him? Are you out of your freaking mind?"

"…"

"Is that a yes?"

"_**Well, technically I am inside your mind."**_

"Well, technically, I don't care."

Allen went silent for quite a few moments before looking up at his warped reflection.

"You know what, even if it's bloody well insane and that I am probably going to get a lot of people, among them myself, in trouble for this it's too much of a golden opportunity for me to let it pass me by… or I'll blame this action of madness onto your bad influence."

"_**As always."**_

- o0o -

"Can anyone tell me what the f-ck just happened?" Allen asked no one in particular from his laying position on the sofa in the secret room of the Fourteenth. "I feel like I just got overrun by a truck or something…"

"_**Well…"**_ the Fourteenth replied after a few moments of silence. _**"That's to be expected, I suppose."**_

Allen raised himself to a sitting position.

"Mind telling me why it's to be expected, Creepy Voice Inside My Head?"

"**Dude,"** the Fourteenth bemusedly replied. _**"You just dragged the Earl into the Ark to use as some sort of final boss. He ought to mightily pissed at you right now."**_

"Oh…" Allen said before realization finally dawned upon him. "Wait… What? Why did I do that?"

"_**Why?"**_ the Fourteenth repeated. _**"To make things more challenging and interesting of course. I mean… why not?"**_

"You're out of your freaking mind!"

"_**I think we've already established that as a fact, Allen."**_

- o0o -

Meanwhile, Kanda had finally made it into the fifth room.

Eyebrow twitching he asked the very thing that had been on everybody's mind for quite a while now.

"What the Hell is this?" he asked, looking around in the pretty much empty room.

"Nothing much," was the reply from the present Noah twins. "Just a little egg hunt."

Kanda stared at them for a long while.

"As far as I can tell, there's nothing in here," he said, but just as he said so a basket popped up nearby.

"Sure there are," Jasdero replied with a deranged giggle. "You just can't see them."

Tilting his head to the side Kanda once again surveyed the area before turning back to the twins.

"Let me get this straight," he said. "I am to look for Easter eggs I can't see. That much I get. Now, how does the point system work?"

Jasdero and Devitto exchanged a look.

"Do you remember?"

"Not really."

Then they both turned to Kanda.

"Since neither of us remember how it should've been, let's do this: for every egg you manage to get into the basket you automatically advance one level, meaning that the more eggs you manage to assemble within the time limit, an hour, the more rooms you can skip. Understood?"

Kanda looked thoughtful for a few moments.

"How many eggs are there?" he then asked.

"Unknown."

"How many rooms are there?"

The twins exchanged another look.

"Fourteen… we think," they said before seemingly popping out of existence.

Kanda stared at them with a straight face for a few moments before a feral smirk started appearing on it as his brain started making some very careful calculations… while his hand automatically swiped out to the side, fingers closing onto something invisible but still very solid. Piece of cake.

_One down. Eight more to go._

- o0o -

Meanwhile, a great amount of the contestants had either had enough of this nonsense of a game or were far too busy in an improvised game of Go Fish… using altogether five decks of cards that Tyki had fished out of his pocket once he had finally gotten bored of looking for missing contestants (it took fifteen minutes).

"Are you sure it's alright for you judges to slack off like this?" Lenalee asked, giving the Noah involved in the game a somewhat concerned look.

"It's alright," Road replied with a shrug. "This counts as a well-earned break."

Lulubell snorted at the word 'well-earned' but made no other comment before turning towards Howard Link, asking him for all his aces, which he grudgingly overturned to her before making another note inside the notebook he was always carrying around.

_Note to self: next time I encounter a Noah, I'll bring a chessboard along._

- o0o -


End file.
